How could I be so stupid?
by LiltingBanshee
Summary: Christine is in trouble. Will Erik be there to help her or is she on her own? Modern day alternative universe. EC, though hints to RC in the beginningsorry
1. Worry

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee.

**Author´s note: I´m back. This is my third story. Hope you´ll like it. Thistakes place in a bit of an alternative universe.For the sake of the storyline Christine´s parents are still alive.**

**Have fun...**

17-year old Christine Daáe walked across the school yard in a brisk pace.

Though it was a quite lovely and sunny day she didn´t feel much joy in her heart.

"Christine! Wait up!". She turned her head and saw her best friend Meg Giry running towards her. Her long blond hair waved wildly behind her head as she ran.

She caught up with Christine, a little out of breath.

"Jesus Christine, what´s up with the military march pace? Are you in a hurry?", Meg said with a wide smile.

Christine shrugged. "No...I was just thinking...", she said.

"Are you ok Chrissie? You´re looking a little pale", Meg´s smile vanished and turned into a concerned frown.

"Yeah Meg, I´m fine. I´m just tired and have a bit of a headache", Christine said and gave her friend a weak smile.

"Do you want to go for some coffee? Maybe that´ll help", Meg offered.

Christine thought it over for a second, but then shook her head.

"No thanks Meg. I think I´ll just go home and rest", she said.

"Ok then. I´ll walk you to the bus stop", Meg said.

They walked in silence until Meg turned to Christine.

"Hey Chrissie, you´d tell me if something was wrong, right?", she asked.

Christine smiled and nodded.

"Yeah Meg, I´d tell you. You´re my best friend", she said.

Christine locked herself into the house. No one seemed to be in.

Her father was probably still at work and her mother out shopping.

Christine ruffled the fur of the black labrador who slept in the hallway and went upstairs to her room.

She quickly changed from her school uniform to some more relaxed clothes

She caught a look of herself in the mirror and sighed. No wonder Meg had been concerned – she looked awful.

Her brown curls hung around her face in a dull manner. She was very pale and had dark circles under her eyes.

She plumped down on her bed and closed her eyes. The headache didn´t seem to to fade.

Maybe if she rested a little. She could always do her homework later.

The next thing Christine registered was the soft touch of her mother´s hand that stroked her hair.

"Christine darling. Wake up. Dinner is ready", her mother said softly.

Christine yawned and stretched.

"Hi Mum", she whispered.

"Rough day at school? You look exhausted", Marie Daáe asked

"Yeah a bit", Christine said and got up.

As she sat down at the diningroom table her father greeted her with a kiss to her cheek.

"Did you have a nice day my princess", he asked affectionally.

Christine had always had a special place in her father´s heart. She was his little girl.

Dinner went as usual.  
Her father sharing stories from his work, her mother telling them about her shopping sprees and the students in her music class and Christine beeing questioned on school answered that everything was fine.

They had nearly finished dinner when Christine felt a wave of nausea hit her.

She bolted from her chair and ran to the bathroom.

Marie and Charles Daáe shared a puzzled look and Marie got up to go to her daughter.

Christine heard her mother enter the bathroom and felt her hands tuck her hair back.

"Christine sweetheart. You must be coming down with somthing", she soothed as she rubbed her back.

Christine rinsed her mouth and sniffed.

"Yeah, that must be it", she said weakly.

"You should go to bed sweety", Marie said and let her from the bathroom.

When her Mum had left her room after tucking her in Christine was staring at the ceiling.

She felt a few tears run down her cheeks

'How could she have been so stupid!' She was so scared.

She felt the tears come quicker and buried her face in her pillow.

'How was she going to tell everyone?'

Her Dad would be so disappointed, her Mum would kill her and Raoul...Raoul, he would be so angry.

The sobs shook her body as she felt sleep overtake her.

**Ok, that´s the first chapter. This story will be an ECpairing (because that´s the way it should be), but have patience.  
Please review and let me know what you think:)**


	2. Finding out

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: Thanks to all of you who reviewed the final chapter of "Everything was so perfect", I´m so glad you liked the ending:)**

**I´m also happy to see your acceptence of my new story:)**

**Mizamour: Thank you:)**

**Phantomandvampirelover: Well, you´ll have to wait and see;)**

**phantomann: Thanks:)**

**Shdwcat27: Thanks, glad to see you´re on this one aswell:)**

**Ok, I´m off on holiday for a couple of weeks, butI´ll tryto update as soon as I get back. Have fun with chapter 2:)**

Christine was determined to go to school the next day, but when she awoke she was feeling just as bad as the night before, and once more shehad to rushto the bathroom.

Collapsing against the bathroom wall she prayed her mother hadn´t heard her.

After about 5 minutes she relaxed, she was yet undiscovered. She slumped back to be and had just gotten under the covers when her mother entered the room.

"Goodmorning sweetheart, how are you feeling?", Marie asked softly.

"Not too good Mum", Christine sighed.

Marie felt her forehead. "Well, you don´t have a fever. It must be something you ate or a stomach flu. You should probably stay home today", she smiled.

Christine nodded weakly. "I think I´ll go back to sleep", she said.

"Yes dear, do that. Your father has gone to work and I have a long day of teaching, but don´t hesitate to call if you need anything", Marie said and kissed her daughter´s cheek.

Christine had no problem getting back to sleep and when she awoke again it was nearly noon.  
She was feeling much better and got out of bed to take a shower.

When she had dressed she grabbed her bag and headed for the frontdoor. She felt her stomach ache with anxiousness.

'She had to do this. She had to know.'

She accepted tne bag from the sales clerk with a shy smile when she heard an all too familiar voice.

"Hey Chrissie!". Meg´s wide smile was not exactly what she needed to see right now.

"Hi Meg, what are you doing here?", she asked nervously.

"Well, two hours of history class didn´t really appeal to me today, but I could ask you the same Chris. You weren´t anywhere near the school today", Meg grinned.

"Ehh..I wasn´t feeling so good so I stayed home", Christine said.

"If you´re not well what are you doing here?", Meg asked.

"We were out of aspirin, I had to get some", Christine said showing Meg the pharmacy bag.

"Oh you should be in bed then Christine. Come on, we´ll go to my house and I´ll make us some tea", Meg said and grabbed her arm.

"No Meg, really. I´ll just go back home and relax", Christine tried.

But Meg wasn´t giving in.

"Christine some tea would do you good. Knowing your parents they are probably working. You shouldn´t be on your own", Meg smiled and dragged her out of the shop.

Christine sighed, Meg had been right. It was actually nice with some company.

She was sitting on Meg´s bed waiting for her to finish making the tea, when her eyes fell on her bag.

In an instant she remembered why she had left the house in the first place.

The clenching feeling in her stomach returned.

"Christine!", Meg shouted up the stairs. "I´ll just run to the shop and get some biscuits. I´ll be back in a sec.".

"Ok,", Christine shouted back.

When she heard the door slam she got up and grabbed her bag.

'She had to do this! She was going to do it – now!'

She went into the bathroom and emptied the pharmacy bag on the floor.

Meg entered the house a couple of minutes later. She quickly finished the tea and brought the tray upstairs.

"It´s so like my Mum to eat all the biscuits", she grinned as she pushed the door to her room open.

"Christine...?", she asked and looked puzzled around the empty room. She heard a noice from the bathroom and quickly put the tray down on her desk.

Gently she opened the door to the bathroom.

"Christine!", she gasped.

Her friend was sitting against the wall, her knees drawn up under her and her face buried in her hands.

She was sobbing in a way Meg had never heard before.

She carefully kneeled downnext to her and touched her shoulder.

"Christine, what´s the matter? What happened?", she whispered.

Christine mumbled something, but the sounds made no sense to Meg.

"Christine, I can´t hear you. Please, tell me what´s wrong", she pleaded.

Suddenly Christine threw her arms around Meg.

"Meg, it´s such a mess! What am I going to do?", she cried.

Meg gently rubbed her back. "It´s ok, Christine. What are you going to do about what?", she asked quietly.

"About the baby!", Christine wailed.

"What!", Meg gasped and for the first time noticed the little white package lying on the edge of the bath tub.

Christine lifted her head from Meg´s shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"Meg I´m pregnant", she hiccuped.

"Oh God Christine!", Meg exclaimed. "What do you think Raoul will say?".

"I´m not going to tell him", Christine sniffed.

"But why not Chris?", Meg was confused.

"Because it´s not his baby", Christine said and looked at her hands.

**See you in a couple of weeks:)**


	3. Who? Tell me!

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: I´m back! I know! It was a lousy move to just throw that chapter out there and the leave.  
You´ll probably all be pleased to know that my flight home was delayed, so I had time to scribble down this little chappie while I waited.  
Hope you´ll all enjoy it:)**

**Shdwcat27: Thanx, and sorry:)**

**phantomann: Thank you for the kind words... Yup, I was grinning from ear to ear;-)**

**potophan1010:Thanks, glad you like my stories:)**

**Phantomandvampirelover: Let´s just say Raoul wont be happy:)**

**GoldenLyre: I know...sorry:) here´s an update for you**

Meg stared at Christine like she had just grown a second head.

"Please, say something Meg!", Christine groaned after a while

"Chris...you´ve been going out with Raoul for nearly two years. How can you be sure it´s not his child?", Meg asked carefully.

"It´s very easy Meg. I never slept with Raoul", Christine shrugged.

"But you´ve been dating for two years!", Meg exclaimed.

"So?", Christine said plainly.

"Hasn´t he tried? I mean...he´s a boy...", Meg trailed off.

"Believe me, he has tried, but it just never felt right with him", Christine sighed.

"But it felt right with someone else?", Meg asked curiously.

"Yes", Christine whispered.

"Oh Chris, tell me! Who?", Meg was nearly bursting with curiousity.

"I´d rather not...it´s complicated...", Christine attempted.

"Christine please! I wont tell anyone. I swear! You can tell me. There´s nothing to be ashamed of", Meg pleaded.

"It´s just...he´s older than me...", Christine was obviously nervous.

"Well that´s great Chris, older guys are more mature", Meg said encouragingly.

"He´s not just a couple of years older Meg. He´s like...an adult, but he´s so sweet", Christine said.

"Age difference is not a big deal these days. Come on Chrissie, tell me!", Meg said.

Christine tried to hide her flushed face in her hands.

"I´m soembarressed Meg. He´s a friend of your mother´s...", she trailed off.

"Not John Miller!", Meg exclaimed horrified.

Christine´s head shot up and she stared at Meg.

"Argh, no Meg! That´s disgusting! He´s like a hundred years old!"

Both girls broke down with laughter at the thought.  
Christine turned serious again and looked at her friend.

"Meg, do you remember that French guy who stayed with your mother all through last year?", Christine asked.

Meg´s eyes widened.

"Erik Destler!", she gasped. "You slept with Erik Destler! Oh God Christine!", Meg squealed.

"Meg, please not so loud!", Christine said anxiously.

Meg calmed down a little.

"Wow Christine! I know you two got really close during the year due to your mutual interest in music. But you obviously shared other interests aswell", Meg grinned.

Christine blushed slightly.

"So tell me, how did it happen?Was it just once? What´s he like?", Meg asked.

"It just happened Meg, we didn´t plan it. One night he just leaned in and kissed me. He was quite surprised with himself and tried to apologize, but I wanted it just as much as he did. I kissed him back and before we knew it we were in bed together", Christine said with a dreamy look in her eyes.

Meg smiled. "You slept with him once and now you´re carrying his child. It´s like somthing out of a movie".

"It wasn´t just once Meg. We´ve made love several times. We carried on a secret relationship for nearly three months before he returned to Paris", Christine smiled.

"And you hid it from me all this time?", Meg huffed and playfully swatted Christine´s arm

"Oh I really wanted to tell you Meg, but I didn´t know how to. I was so afraid of what people would think. He was older than me. I know age difference is not a big deal when you´re older, but I was 16 and he was 29! I was scared you´d all hate me", Christine sighed.

"Christine! I could never hate you! And Mum neither. And you parents Chris! They adore you!", Meg exclaimed.

"Thanks Meg. I don´t know about my parents though. Don´t think my Dad would be too thrilled with the idea of his only daughter sleeping with an older man. Or sleeping with anyone for that matter", Christine said.

Meg said nothing, she knew Christine might be right on that one.

"So have you talked to Erik since he went back?" Meg asked after a while.

"Yes, we´ve been writing letters to each other, but he hasn´t replied to my last one. It´s been over two weeks. He´s usually very quick at responding, but he might not have gotten it", Christine said unsurely.

"He might just be busy Chris. But you have a good excuse to write him a new one now", Meg smiled.

"Yeah, I guess...", Christine sighed.

"You guess? You are going to tell him, right Chris? Unless...are you thinking of not keeping the baby?", Meg asked carefully.

"God no! I could never terminate this pregnancy. I love the child already", Christine exclaimed. "I just don´t think it´s something to tell him in a letter. I need to see him. But first I have to deal with my parents".

"Yeah, you better tell them. Don´t worry Chris, it´ll be fine. I´ll help you. We all will", Meg assured her friend.

**Uhhh the big talk coming up, I´ll try to do a fast update...no promises...:)**


	4. Telling Mum and Dad

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**phantomann: Thanks, reactions from both Raoul and Erik to come:)**

**Phantomandvampirelover: hope Erik will too, can´t promise about the parents though...**

**Shdwcat27: thanks, you´re welcome:)**

**Wandering-Phantom: Yup!**

**sharpie: Thanks, sorry ´bout the grammar mistakes, I´m really bad at that:)**

**Broken-Mask: Well, I´m sorry you´re unhappy with the story, but  
One: Christine didn´t feel the need to try and hide her pregnancy in the beginning. She thinks her parents and friends will stand by her.She might be doing thinks a little backwards in this story.  
Two: The point of having Christine´s relationship with Erik in the past in my story is to beable to describe it throughout future chapters. Christine wouldn´t not give herself to anyone, she just gives herself to Erik. If that happens after the first kiss it´s their decision.  
I´m sorry for confusing you by writing incorrect dialouge. I find that unintended line spaces sometimes appear when I upload my documents, I guess I forgot to correct that one. Sorry.**

**Ok, telling Mum and Dad...**

"You are what?" Marie Daáe stared at her teenage daughter in disbelief.

"I´m pregnant Mum, please don´t be mad" Christine said in a low voice.

"Oh Christine! How could you be so stupid? This will ruin all your plans! What about your exams and music college?" Marie said with slight despair in her voice.

"It will be fine Mum. The baby will not be here for another 7 months. I can do the exams and maybe start college a year later. Meg said she would help…" Christine said.

"Do you really think little Meg Giry would throw her own college life away just to help you mind the baby?" Marie asked.

"She will not have to throw anything away! She will just help when she can. I was hoping you and Dad would help out aswell. It really wont be a problem Mummy!", Christine tried.

"No, you´re right. It wont be a problem because there will be no baby!" Marie said.

"What?" Christine gasped.

"You are to have an abortion Christine. That´s the end of it!" Marie said firmly.

"No Mum!", Christine flew up from the bed where she had been sitting. "You can´t tell me what to do! I´ll have this baby. I love it!" she yelled.

"Christine, you´re 17 years old! You have to do what your father and I tell you to do! I will discuss this with your father and we will talk about it at dinner" Marie left the room and slammed the door after her.

"You will not take my baby from me!" Christine screamed at the closed door.

Then she threw herself on the bed and sobbed.

'This was not how she had expected her mother to react. Her father maybe, but not her Mum.'

She wrapped her arms around her abdomen and fell asleep dreading the evening conversation with her father.

The silence at the dinnertable was awkward.

Christine kept her gaze fixed at her plate and so did both her parents.

She knew her mother had told her father. She could see the hurt in his eyes and she felt bad for him. She had always been his little innocent princess. Now this little princess was pregnant and she knew what it was doing to him.

They finished their dinner and when her father cleared his throat she knew the time had come.

"Christine, your mother has informed me of your condition. We need to have a serious talk" he said and looked at her.

Christine just nodded.

"Your mother knows a very good doctor in town. She called him earlier and he will be able to see you next week. There is nothing to worry about my dear. It will be a simple procedure. We will all be able to put this little incident behind us and you can get on with your school" Charles Daáe said encouragingly.

Christine took a deep breath.

"Daddy this is not a little incident, it´s a baby, a child, a little human being. I will not have an abortion. I can not kill my baby" she said quietly.

"Christine this will be best for the child. What kind of life can you offer this baby? I am sure Raoul is not interested in being a father right now. He is going off to law school in the fall. Be reasonable Christine. End this pregnancy and when you have both graduated you can marry and start a family, but it´s too soon now" Charles said.

"Raoul is not the father" Christine whispered.

"What?" her father asked. Her mother just gasped.

"I said Raoul is not the father of this baby. I slept with someone else and got pregnant" Christine said a little louder.

Her father´s eyes turned angry and her mother silently began to cry.

"Did someone else take advantage of you?" Charles asked angrily.

"No Dad, I chose it myself" Christine said.

"I can´t believe what you are telling me Christine. You have had a good relationship with Raoul, why have you broken up with him?" Charles was confused.

"I haven´t exactly broken up with him. I went to bed with someone else. I didn´t mean to Dad, it just happened, but I take the responsibility" Christine said tearfully

"Christine! This is not at all like you! What are you thinking about sleeping around like this? Have you gone insane?" her father yelled.

"I don´t sleep around Dad, I love this man! He is the only one I have ever gone to bed with I swear!" Christine´s tears was flowing quickly down her cheeks now.

"Who is he?" Charles asked.

"I…I can´t tell you right now….." Christine trailed off.

"So you don´t know?" Charles was beyond angry now.

"Yes, I know Dad! I just need a little more time. Please!" Christine cried.

"If you´re not old enough to admit your mistakes you´re not old enough to have a child Christine! You will go see this doctor next week and get rid of the mysterious man´s child" he yelled.

"No Dad, it´s my child! I will have it!" Christine sobbed.

"As long as you´re staying in my house you will do as I tell you! Do you understand that? Now go to your room, I can´t stand the sight of you anymore tonight" Charles said furiously.

Christine fled the dining room. Not even her mother tried to stop her. She had really thought her parents would help her. She couldn´t believe they wanted her to get rid of the baby. She wouldn´t! She had to find a way to avoid this. Oh how she wished Erik was with her.

'Maybe if I told them who the father was?' she thought, but knew it would probably only make things worse.

Her eyelids began to droop. She needed her sleep now, but tomorrow she was going to figure out a plan.

Softly she caressed her stomach.

"Don´t worry little one. I wont let them hurt you. We will make it. You and I together" she whispered just before she fell asleep.

**Not good...let me know what you think...:)**


	5. The right thing?

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: auch, some very unhappy reviews. I´m really sorry if this story is confusing with spelling and grammar mistakes, but I write the way I have learned. I might have learned to write dialouge wrong and I´ve tried to correct that now, but it can be hard to break old habbits so I apologize for future mistakes. I have edited chapter 3 and 4, hope they are easier to read now, I have not put more details in them, as I have an idea of how I want to write this story, that doesn´t include more details than what you have seen now.**

**Phantomandvampirelover: Erik will soon appear.**

**Wandering-Phantom: hehe, well Christine likes children – at least this baby:) Erik soon to come.**

**Broken-Mask: Please, if you don´t like the story don´t read it. I have my idea for how I want this to be. I´m sorry if spelling and grammar mistakes drive you insane, but I really do edit these things. I doaccept constructive critisism, but I think you have a very unpleasent way of putting it. **

Christine followed her mother into the clinic. The white walls seemed to move closer to her and the sterile smell made her stomach ache.  
They approached the lady at the reception desk and Marie spoke quietly.

"Hello, my daughter Christine Daáe have an appointment with Doctor Webber today."

The lady shuffled through her papers and looked up.

"Yes, please take a seat, Doctor Webber will see to you shortly" she said politely.

Christine sat down next to her mother. None of them knew what to say so the silence was only broken by the ringing of Marie´s mobile phone.

The reception lady gestured at the 'Mobile phones prohibited' sign and Marie hurried outside.  
Christine sighed and attempted a smile to the reception lady, but she just stared back at her and shook her head slightly.

Christine blushed. 'Why did everyone think being pregnant at 17 was a crime?'

Marie came back with a worried expression on her face.

"Oh Christine, Aimee just called. Your old aunt Beatrice have fallen in her home. I need to go and help Aimee, she´s alone there with the twins. I´m so sorry to leave you now, but I will give you money for a taxi home and I will come straight home later" she said and hugged her daughter.

"That´s fine Mum. I hope Beatrice is ok, don´t worry about me" Christine said.

"I´m really sorry darling, you shouldn´t be alone now" Marie said.

"It´s ok Mum, I´m a big girl. I can handle this, I´ll just go home to bed afterwards." Christine smiled weakly.

Alone in the waiting room she suddenly felt nauseous with worry.

"Excuse me, where is the toilet?" she asked the reception lady.

"Just around the corner dear. Don´t be long" the lady answered without looking up from her papers.

Marie entered the house hours later. Everything was quiet. She put her bag away and went up the stairs to Christine´s room.

Christine heard her mother´s footsteps on the stairs and tears welled back up in her eyes.

Marie entered the room to find her daughter curled up on the bed weeping silently. She sat down and gently rubbed her back.

"Shh my darling girl, I know you´re upset, but this is all for the best. You are very brave my dear, you will be fine" she soothed.

Christine said nothing.

"I´m sorry I couldn´t be there today, but you did the right thing. I´m very proud of you sweety" Marie whispered.

"Do you really think my child thought it was the right thing?" Christine sniffed.

"The baby felt nothing Christine. You have to let go now. You will get over this and have many beautiful children when you get older" Marie said.

"How is aunt Beatrice?" Christine asked weakly.

"She will be fine. She is staying the night at the hospital. Don´t worry about her now love. Get some sleep and I will see you in the morning" Marie kissed her cheek and left the room.

Christine rolled onto her back and put her hands on her abdomen. The tears dried on her cheeks and she smiled to herself.

"You and I owe aunt Beatrice a lot little dear" she spoke softly. "In a few weeks you´ll be too old for them to hurt you. We´ll just have to pretend for a while. Now you must promise me to try and not make me feel too nauseous and I´ll promise to protect you as good as I can."

She smiled. She couldn´t believe she had gotten away with this. Eventually her parents would find out, but she needed all the time she could have to figure out what to do. Her little escape from the clinic today would hopefully buy her a few weeks and then abortion would be illegal.  
She sighed. She might have been able to save her baby, but she still hadn´t heard from Erik. He might just be busy as Meg had suggested. She couldn´t bear to think he had lost interest in her.

She had never felt like this about anyone. Erik had captured her heart with his beautiful mind and love for music. At first she had feared Mrs. Giry´s mysterious friend with the mask covering the right side of his face. But one night when she and Meg was having a sleep-over she had gotten up in the middle of the night to have a drink of water. She had heard the sound of the piano downstairs and had gone down to listen.

Erik had been playing softly and she had stood amazed in the doorway.

When he finished the tune he addressed her without turning around. "You should be in bed young lady. The way you and little Giry went on about boys and make-up you must be exhausted."

Christine blushed slightly. "You heard us?" she asked quietly.

"The way you two carried on I think the neighbours heard you. Why do you think I came down here" he chuckled softly.

"I´m sorry for keeping you awake Mr. Destler" she said honestly. "Though I´m glad you went down here. Your music is absolutely amazing."

"Please call me Erik, you´re in this house so often you almost live here, no need to be so formal. And thank you Christine" Erik said and turned to her for the first time. "My dear friend Anne tells me you have quite some talents for music yourself."

"I do sing and play the violin" Christine said proudly.

"You must entertain me with those talents one day. But now I think you should return to your bed, Let me walk you upstairs, I need the sleep myself" he said and rose from the piano bench.

Christine rose from her bed and took some paper and a pen from her desk. She would just write him a short letter. Nothing about the baby. Just a letter to see if he was still around.

She firmly closed the envelope and put it under her pilow. She went to change into her pyjamas and accidently knocked over a framed picture. She lifted the frame and looked at the picture.

Raoul and herself smiled back at her.

'Raoul' she thought. She had to talk to him soon. She owed him that much. He had been a good boyfriend to her, but she needed to end this now. She put the picture back and crawled into bed. She had made a big decision today. She had gone against her parent´s wishes, something she had never done before. She was taking responsibility for her actions, maybe not in the wisest way, but it was her way for now.


	6. Telling Raoul

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note:** **Thanks for your support:) Ok time to let Raoul know...**

**Shdwcat27:Thanks, yeah they´re lovely right:) Erik will be here soon.**

**Wandering-Phantom: Yup:)**

**Phantomandvampirelover: Thanks, yeah she´s not too smart, but love can make you do crazy things...**

**inkpems: Thank you:) **

**phantomann: Thanks, Raoul´s here, Erik on his way:) **

Christine was just about to close her locker when she felt someone plant a soft kiss on her neck. She turned around to see Raoul smiling at her.

"Hey gorgeous how have you been lately? I haven´t seen much of you the past couple of weeks" he said and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her lips.

Not knowing what to do Christine lightly returned the kiss and smiled back at him.

"I´m really sorry Raoul, I´ve had a lot on my mind lately. I know I haven´t been very social" she said and avoided his eyes.

Gently he placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her eyes to meet his.

"Christine, is everything ok with us? You have seemed a little distant and it worries me. I tried to call you a couple of times, but your Mum kept telling me you couldn´t come to the phone. Have I done something to upset you?" he asked with worry in his eyes.

Christine felt a pang of guilt in her heart. He had always been good to her. A great childhood friend to whom friendly feelings had turned to sweet teenage love, but things were different now.  
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently.

"Raoul you have done nothing to upset me. The problem lies with me. I...there´s something I need to tell you..." she trailed off.

"Are you sick Christine?" he asked concerned.

"No I´m not sick. I really don´t think this is the right place to tell you. My parents are out tonight so would you like to come over at around seven?" she asked him.

"Yeah sure Christine. It sounds serious..." he said.

"It is a serious matter Raoul. But promise me not to blame yourself for anything." She leaned up and kissed his cheek and then left him standing in the hallway with a feeling that whatever she was going to tell him he wasn´t going to like it.

Christine let Raoul into the house with a little smile. She was wearing a comfortable pair of slacks and a t-shirt, so his slim hopes of her intentions being to take their relationship to a new level left his mind instantly.

"Would you like a drink?" she offered as he follwed her into the kitchen.

"A beer would be great" he said.

Opening a beer for him and a soda for herself she let him up to her room.

Taking a sip of his beer he joined her on the bed and sighed.

"So Christine, are you ready to tell me your big secret?" he asked, intending it to be a bit of a joke.

She looked at her hands for a second before she spoke.

"Raoul do you remember the music composer who stayed with Meg´s mother?"

He nodded.

"He became quite a good friend of mine. He gave me singing lessons to help me gain my music college scholarship and he had such a lovely approach to music. He was a real genious Raoul" she said.

"I know you were fond of his talents Christine, but where are you going with this?" Raoul asked.

"I... along the way I fell in love with him. I know you might think it was just a silly teenage infatuation, but it wasn´t. I really loved him. I felt very ashamed seeing as he was older than me and... and I was with you. But he developed feelings for me too and we happened to start a relationship. A sexual relationship" she nearly whispered.

Raoul had gone quite pale and stared at her in shock. "You slept with another man behind my back?" he asked.

She nodded. "I´m so sorry Raoul. I was being a real bitch to you and there are no excuses for my behaviour. I really did love you and I hope we can stay friends, but I fully understand if you never want to see me again."

"How could you do this to me Christine? To us? Haven´t the past two years meant anything to you?" he said, raising his voice.

"Yes they have Raoul. I did love you; I still do, but not the way I used to." Tears were forming in her eyes now.

"I don´t believe this!" Raoul said and began pacing the room.

"There´s one more thing... I´m pregnant with his baby" Christine said. She might as well get it all out in one go.

Raoul stopped in his tracks and stared at her.

"Not only were you stupid enough to sleep with him, but you didn´t use protection? Christine what´s wrong with you? What are you going to do about it?" Raoul asked in despair.

"I can´t do anything. I´m 3 months pregnant. I´m going to have the baby" she said.

"I don´t know what to say Christine. I didn´t think you could do something like this, you´ve always used so much sense in everything you do. You were never the one I pictured in this situation. You´re being very selfish Christine. What about your parents? Your future? Me? The baby´s father? And the baby itself?" Raoul asked.

"I...I´m going to tell Erik and I think my parents will come around once the baby is born. I can take care of my child, we´ll be fine. As for you, I know I´ve hurt you badly. It´s up to you to decide how you want to be around me" Christine sighed.

"Well, right now I don´t feel like being anywhere near you. I really hope that guy will stand by you. You´re in for a rude awakening Christine, taking care of a child is not a game". Raoul got up from the bed. "I´ll see myself out. Good luck Christine. Don´t bother getting in touch for a while, I need to think."

"I understand..." she whispered.

As she heard the front door slam she fell back on her bed with a sigh.

'Was Raoul right? Was she being selfish?' She did seem to hurt everyone around her. But things would be fine once she got to talk to Erik. Erik would take care of them.

Raoul was lost in his thoughts when he felt someone sit down next to him.

"Are you having a staring contest with that sandwich or can I have it?" Meg Giry´s voice brought him out of his reverie. He flashed her a half-hearted smile and pushed the sandwich over to her.

"Knock yourself out" he said.

"Something seems to be bothering you Chagny. Need to talk?" Meg offered while chewing on his lunch.

"Christine is pregnant" he stated plainly.

"Oh, she told you…"Meg's smile faded.

"You knew?" Raoul asked.

"Yeah, she was at my house the day she found out" Meg said.

"Did she also tell you that it's not my kid? That she slept with your mother's house guest?" he asked.

"She told me that as well. How do you feel about it?" Meg felt sorry for him.

"Hurt. Disappointed. I didn't think Christine could act like this. I really want to be mad at her, but I can't. I feel sorry for her instead. Stuck with the baby and everything" he sighed.

"Do you know her parents wanted her to have an abortion, but she ran away from the clinic on the day she had the appointment?" Meg asked.

"She did what?" Raoul was surprised. "She's acting so unlike herself! Defying Charles and Marie's orders! What's happening with her?".

"I know it hurts you to hear this Raoul, but she has fallen in love. She loves Erik dearly and she is protecting their child the way she finds it best. She's doing everything she can to hide the pregnancy right now, so don't go around telling anyone. She will tell her parents when she's ready. They are not going to like it so if you at some point get over the hurt you feel at loosing her I know she'll appreciate the support. She is going to need all her friends Raoul" Meg said and looked at him.

Raoul nodded thoughtfully. "I'll have to think about it Meg, but thanks for telling me" he said.

"I've got to go, thanks for the sandwich" Meg said and rose from the table.

Raoul looked up at her. "You're welcome. And thanks you for listening and for being a good friend to Christine".

She flashed him a smile and left.

Christine let herself into the house. She was quite grateful that the early summer weather was behaving so badly with rain and cold winds. It gave her an excuse to wear sweaters that wouldn't reveal her 4½ months pregnant belly. She had really tried to find the right time to tell her parents, but with their previous reaction fresh in mind she had lost her courage over and over again.

Picking the mail up off the floor she immediately spotted her name on a little envelope in the handwriting she had longed to see for months. Dumping the rest of the mail on the kitchen table she raced upstairs and ripped the letter open.

_My Dearest Christine_.

_My sincere apologies for not responding to your letters sooner, but I have been terribly busy preparing for the autumn season at the opera house._

_I hope you are well and I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming exams. You are a bright young woman and you will do well._

_I am looking very much forward to seeing you during the summer when I again shall visit my dear friend Anne Giry._

_Until then I wish you well._

_All my love_

_Erik_

Christine was so happy she almost cried. He still loved her and she would see him again shortly. She just hoped he would be as excited about the baby as she was.

As everyone expected Christine did well at the exams. Her parents were extremely proud, but Christine was worried. She was 5 months pregnant now. That would be impossible to hide under the dress she was to wear for the exam party. She had to come clean.

The family was seated at the dinner table. Christine had finally gathered her courage when fate took a different turn.

Finishing his dinner Charles Daáe turned to his daughter.

"Christine as you know your mother and I were at the Ascott's party last night" he said. "We happened to run into Doctor George Webber. He kindly asked how you were doing now you had decided to go through with the pregnancy."

**Trouble ahead...**


	7. The secret´s out

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: here´s a little Erik for all of you. He will be fully involved in the next chapter:)**

**phantomann: on his way:)**

**Phantomandvampirelover: yup, take care where ever you´re going:)**

**satinzevi89: there you go:)**

**ragingfire666: Thanks:) Erik will be involved very soon:)**

**Kill Mary Sue: Well it´s the characters just playing around in an alternative universe...:)**

**Phreddie: Thank you so much:) well, Christine is under 18, so her parents might have something to say...**

**Wandering-Phantom: Maybe he will maybe he wont...:)**

**Shdwcat27: Hehe, we all know how fond you are of Raoul...so it´s ok for youto feel "sorry" for him;)**

**Ok, off we go...**

Christine blushed heavily and looked at her unfinished food.

"Would you care to explain to us why Doctor Webber would think you´re still pregnant, seeing as he was the one to take care of your abortion? Because you did have an abortion, right Christine?" Charles seemed very calm, but that worried Christine just as much as if he had yelled at her.

"No...I didn´t..." she admitted.

"What do you mean you didn´t? We set up the appointment and I brought you to the clinic and... oh Christine!" Marie joined the discussion, but suddenly stopped when she realized what had probably happened.

"That day Mum, when you were called to aunt Beatrice´s house I saw the opportunity to save my baby. I left the clinic before they could do anything" Christine said.

"You lied to us through all these months?"her father asked.

"What else could I do Dad? You wouldn´t listen. You just ordered me to get rid of the child. Why would you do this to me? Don´t you care about my feelings? Don´t you love me anymore?" Christine was on the verge of tears now.

"Of course we love you dearest! We´re doing this for your own good. You are still a child Christine and you have your whole life ahead of you! Why do you insist on ruining your future with this child?" Marie asked desperately.

"I´m not going to ruin my life! I can do this! Erik and I can do this together!" Christine cried.

"Erik?" both her parents looked puzzled.

"The baby´s father" Christine whispered. "He´s 30 years old and lives in Paris. He´s a lovely musician and he´ll take care of both me and the child. He´ll be happy to know that I´m pregnant and he´ll love the child just like I do."

"He´s 30 years old?" "You haven´t even told him yet?" Her parents asked at the same time.

"Please let me explain" Christine whined. "He might be older than me, but it wont be a problem. He´s very sweet and caring. I didn´t want to tell him about the baby in a letter, so I´ll tell him when he comes to see Meg´s mother during the summer. I love him and he loves me! We will be alright".

Marie looked horrified.

"Christine, are you talking about Anne´s composer friend?" she asked carefully.

"Yes Mum. He was here last year" Christine answered.

Marie gasped. "Oh Christine, do you not know of this man´s disease? Why he wears that mask?" she asked.

Anne Giry and Marie had been best friends for many years, so of course Anne would have told Marie about Erik´s face.

"Yes I know. He told me Mum, but I don´t care. I love him" Christine said. She didn´t bother telling her parents about the morning where she had carefully peeled the mask for Erik´s face...

Christine awoke to the sound of Erik playing the piano. Mrs Giry and Meg were away for the weekend leaving Erik alone in the house. He had taken the liberty to invite Christine to stay the night.

Slowly she went down the stairs and found him sitting at the piano in the musicroom. He was absorbed in his music and didn´t hear her approach.

His white mask glistened in the light from the candles he had lit and she felt drawn to it with a strange force. Carefully she went to stand beside him and gently brushed her hand down his unmasked cheek in a soft caress. He leaned into her touch without his fingers leaving the ivory keys, but the music came to a sudden stop when he felt the cool air on his right cheek. She had removed the mask!

The next few minutes was a blur to Christine. Erik´s rage was beyond anything she had ever experienced. His hand flew to hide his exposed cheek as he pushed her away from him.

"Damn you! You curious little witch!" he yelled.

Christine fell to the floor from his forceful shove and she felt tears trail down her cheeks.

"Why would you do this Christine? Do you take pleasure in a tortured man´s deformed face?" he hissed at her.

"Erik I ..."she tried.

"You´re no differentfrom the rest of them! Go on, have your laugh and leave!" He was crying now and Christine felt her heart break for him. She got up from the floor and went to him.

As he sat at the window weeping he seemed so different from the raging person he had been just moments ago. Gently she put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched and tried to avoid her touch.

"Don´t touch me Christine" he said weakly.

"Erik I´m so sorry. I shouldn´t have done this. Please believe me when I tell you your face does not repulse me. Can you ever forgive me for my stupid actions?" she whispered.

He lowered his hand from his face and looked at her.

"Can you honestly say that this doesn´t put you off?" he said and gestured at his face.

She leaned in and put her lips to his scarred cheek.

"I have fallen in love with your soul.Your face will not change that. The way you love me makes me feel so special. I really and truly love you and nothing can change that" she smiled at him.

He brought his lips down upon hers and she knew she was forgiven...

"What is wrong with him?" Charles asked looking from Marie to Christine.

"He is born with a terrible deformity to the right side of his face" Marie said tearfully.

"Oh that´s just great!" Charles huffed. "And what will you do if your child is born like it´s father? And he doesn´t even know? What if he would never want children out of fear of them being scarred like him? Did you ever think to consider that Christine?".

"No... but he will want this child, I know he will" Christine cried openly now. All her defences were falling apart. There were so many things she hadn´t considered.

"You are far along in the pregnancy Christine. You will have to have the baby, but we will arrange for it to be put up for adoption. You will not see the child and you are to forget all about it!" Charles said.

"No Daddy please! I can handle it, I´ll prove it to you!" Christine wept.

"You have proven over and over again that you are not capable of making the right decisions. This time you will follow ordes! You are staying in this house for the remaining time of the pregnancy. We will keep an eye on you. You will give birth, forget the child and concentrate on college!" Charles ended the conversation.

Christine pushed away from the table and ran to her room. Desperately she started throwing her things into a bag.  
She stomped down the stairs and headed for the front door. Charles came into the hallway followed by a crying Marie.

"Christine, if you leave this house now don´t bother coming back again" he bellowed

"Charles please..." Marie tried.

Christine put her hand on the doorhandle and drew in a deep breath.

"Christine I´m serious. I will not support you in ruining your life. Don´t leave this house" Charles warned.

"I´m sorry Mum, Dad. Goodbye" Christine whispered and left the house.

"Christine, what hashappened?" Meg gasped as she opened the door to reveal her best friend´s tearstained face.

"I left Meg, they told me never to come back. I´m all alone now" Christine cried and went into Meg´s waiting arms.

"Oh Christine, it can´t be that bad" Meg soothed.

"It is Meg. They want me to give the child away. It´s such a mess" she sniffed.

"Meg dear, what´s going on?" Anne Giry´s voice rang out in the hallway. "Christine dear child! What on earth is upsetting you so?" she asked as she went to put her arms around her best friend´s daughter.

Anne wiped the tears away from Christine´s cheeks and smiled at her.

"So you really knew?" Christine hiccuped.

"Yes, he told me in his letters. He was very afraid of my reaction because you are so young, but he is truly in love with you. He might be older, but he´s just as unexperienced with love as you and I think you now why" Anne said.

Christine nooded thoughtfully. "Do you think I´m completely insane for keeping our child?" she asked.

Anne sighed. "You may not have handled this the best way Christine. You should probably have told him earlier tolet him have a say in the decision, but you can´t change that now. You must tell him when he comes to stay and we´ll see what happens. You can stay here for a while, but I´m sure your parents will change their mind. You´ll see Christine, things will work out".

Anne pulled the covers over Christine. "Sleep now dear" she said affectionally and turned the light off.

Christine was in the living room reading when Anne came to her.  
"Christine, there´s a letter for you. It´s addressed to your house so I suspect your mother has brought it here" she said and handed Christine the envelope.

_My Dear Christine._

_It breaks my heart to tell you that I will not be coming to see you this summer.  
__Personal affairsare keeping me here in Paris, but I hope I will be able to see you later in the year.  
__I know this will make you sad, but soon you will be starting college and will probably be too busy to think about me. _

_Take care of yourself and do stay in touch._

_Love  
__Erik. _

Erik stretched and got out of bed to make himself some breakfast. He picked his mail up from the hallway and shuffled through the letters.

Entering the kitchen he placed the mail on the table and opened one of the envelopes.

_Dear Erik.  
__I am coming to Paris as soon as I can. I really need to see you. I know you´re busy, but there is an urgent matter I need to discuss with you.  
__I will arrive Thursday next week. Looking forward to seeing you._

_Love  
__Christine. _

Erik put the letter down. 'An urgent matter? What could that be?' He would love to see her, but this was a really bad time for her to arrive. He sighed and poured himself a cup of coffee. This would be hard.

**Secrets to be revealed...Will Erik be happy...?**


	8. Erik

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: Sorry for the wait, life showed itself from the busy side:)**

**phantomann: start breathing,you´ll get your answer now...:)**

**Wandering-Phantom: thanks:)**

**Shdwcat27: thanks, on it´s way:)**

**satinzevi89: thanks, he´ll definitely be surprised**

**Lady Skywalker: Well, there´ll be some things he´ll have to consider because of the baby...:)**

**Ariadne Bassarid: Yeah, he probably would:)**

**trisana: glad you like it:)**

**Phantomandvampirelover: I hope so too, hope you´re having a nice time away:)**

**Josie: Thank you, here´s a new chapter for you:)**

**you´llbemyangel: there you go:)**

Christine eyed the arrivals hall with a knot in her stomach. She hadn´t dared to hope he would be there to meet her, but she still felt disappointed when it was clear he wasn´t there.  
With a sigh she went to figure out how to get to the city centre.

A couple of hours later she was walking towards the Paris opera house. She hadn´t wanted to just show up at his apartment. Though she was quite certain he wouldn´t mind her coming he hadn´t exactly invited her. She was just going to try and reach him at the opera house in the first place.

Stepping into the foyer of the opera house she was stunned at it´s beauty. She could really picture Erik working here.His mysterious mind fit perfectly into these amazing surroundings.

She went to the ticket sales desk and the young woman there smiled at her.

"Excuse me, could you tell me if there is a music composer of the name Erik Destler working here today?" Christine asked politely.

"I´m sorry Mademoiselle, I don´t know. Please ask at the information desk overthere" the woman answered.

Christine smiled and went to the information desk

She repeated her question to the woman there, but she just gave her a less polite stare.

"I can not give out information on our staff to strangers" she said.

"Please, I´m a good friend of Monsieur Destler´s. He will be pleased to see me" Christine tried.

"Mademoiselle, it is not my decision. We have security policies here" the woman said.

"If I leave a note for him could you make sure he gets it?" Christine asked.

The woman nodded. "I will try Mademoiselle, but I can make no promises."

After leaving a note at the information desk Christine went back to the friendly young ticket girl. She might as well see the opera house now she was there.

Anne Giry read the letter from Erik and sighed. Christine was going to be very upset. She walked up the stairs to bring the news to the girl.

"Meg, do you know where Christine has gone?" Anne asked as she failed to find Christine.

"Ehh...I think she´s gone out" Meg said unsecurely.

"Oh. Well, I hope she comes back soon. I just recieved a letter from Erik, he wont be coming over this summer. I need to tell Christine. Poor girl" Anne sighed.

Meg mumbled something.

"What did you say my dear?" Anne asked.

"I said she already knows.It was what the letter she recieved last week said. She went on a plane to Paris this morning. I tried to talk her out of this impulsive act Mum, really! But she had made up her mind" Meg said tearfully.

"Oh that stupid stubborn girl" Anne exclaimed.

The next day Christine was back at the opera house and was somewhat happy to see that it was the same woman sitting at the information desk as the day before.  
She obviously recognised Christine.

"Mademoiselle I have a message for you" she said and Christine felt her heart skip a beat.

"I failed to reach Monsieur Destler, but his assistant told me to tell you that he is currently out of town."

"Oh..." Christine´s disappointment was hard to hide. "When will he be back...?"

"She said sometime next week, nothing for certain" the woman said.

"Ok, thank you" Christine turned to leave.

When she was nearly at the doors the woman called after her.

"Mademoiselle! Try and come back on Wednesday. I will see what I can do."

Christine smiled gratefully.

Lucille Madelaire sighed. Women never came to the opera house in search of Monsieur Destler. She was quite puzzled by this young girl, but she also felt sorry for her. She seemed very keen on getting in touch with Monsieur Destler.  
But what would such a young and obviously pregnant girl wish to see the mysterious composer for?

Christine sat on the stairs of the opera house a long with several tourists.

'This was a real mess! Erik wasn´t here and she didn´t know when he would be back.'

She put her head in her hands and tried to hold back her tears.

'How could I be so stupid? To just go here without making sure it was ok with him"' she thought

Suddenly she felt something in her stomach and looked down and smiled. The baby was kicking. She let her tears run while she laughed softly.

"So you agree with me huh?", she sniffed. "Or maybe you´re just trying to tell me it´ll be ok. Fine, come on my darling. It´s no use sitting here" she said and got up .  
She had to wait at least until Wednesday. In the meantime she would try to find somewhere better than the creepy hostel to live.

Camille Etienne opened the door and eyed the young girl on her doorstep.

"Madame, do you have any rooms available?" the girl asked

"Are you a student Mademoiselle?" Camille asked her.

"No, I´m not" the girl shrugged.

"I´m sorry Mademoiselle. We only rent out rooms to students" Camille said and began closing the door.

"Please Madame, I´ve tried many places. I don´t want to stay in a hostel in my condition and I can´t afford a hotel. I probably wont be staying for long" the girl pleaded.

Camille considered for a moment. This was a strange girl. She had obviously been walking the streets for most of the day. She was sweating, her dark curls hung all messy around her face and her swollen abdomen clearly revealed her condition.

"Very well Mademoiselle. Come in and I will show you to your room" Camille said and opened the door.

"Oh thank you Madame! My name is Christine Daáe" Christine said and stretched out her hand to the older woman.

"Camille Etienne. Now, once you have settled I will inform you of the house rules" Camille said and let Christine upstairs.

Christine was lying on her bed. The shower had done her good and she was feeling a bit more optimistic. Camille was a hard woman, but she had given Christine a fair rent for the room and the house rules wouldn´t be too hard to follow.  
And she probably wouldn´t be staying here for long anyway. As soon as she got to talk to Erik things would be fine.  
With a contented sigh she put a hand on her stomach and drifted off to sleep.

"Monsieur Destler!"

Erik looked at the woman who had called for his attention.

"Yes Lucille?" he asked.

"A young girl left this note for you a couple of days ago" Lucille said and handed him a piece of paper.

Erik unfolded the little note and read it over.

"Did she come back the next day?" he asked Lucille.

"Yes, and I told her you were out of town. She seemed very sad so I told her to come back tomorrow – Wednesday" Lucille said.

Erik huffed. "I´ll be away all day tomorrow".  
He considered things for a minute and the grabbed a pen and scribled something on the back of Christine´s note.  
He gave it to Lucille.

"Will you give her this note and tell her to meet me here at noon on Thursday?" he asked.

Lucille felt a strange sense of relief. "Certainly Monsieur Destler. I´m sure she´ll be very happy to see you. Is she family?" she asked.

"No, she´s not family, but she´s very dear to me. I would never do anything to hurt her" Erik said.

Lucille was slightly puzzled by this. "I´m sure she´s not too hurt by you being out of town and she´ll see you in a few days" she smiled.

"Yes, she will. Goodnight and thank you Lucille" Erik said and left the building.

_My Dearest Christine _

_I´m sorry for not being around when you arrived, but when I got you letter it was too late for me to reach you and tell you I was going away.  
__I hope you have enjoyed your days in Paris so far.  
__Please meet me in the foyer of the opera house on Thursday at noon and I shall take you out for lunch._

_Love  
__Erik._

Christine felt giddy with joy as she read his little note for the hundredth time. It had not been a mistake to come, he really wanted to see her!  
She put the note under he pillow and turned the light off. It would be hard to sleep with all the excitement she felt in her body.

He felt his heart swell as he saw her coming through the doors.  
Her smile grew even wider as she spotted him and she went to him as fast as she could. She threw her arms around his neck and he put his arms around her and ran a hand down her long dark curls.

"It´s good to see you again Christine" he whispered into her hair.

"I´ve missed you so much" she said and he thought her voice sounded slightly tearful.

He pulled away and looked into her eyes. Before he knew what he was doing he bent down and kissed her lips softly. She smiled and ran a finger down his cheek. "I have so much to tell you..." she said softly.

"Let me take you somewhere nice and we´ll talk" he said putting his arm around her shoulders and leading her out on the streets.

Erik´s head was full of thoughts.  
Christine had excused herself to go to the ladies room and that was when he had really noticed.  
He had felt there was a bit more of her when he had hugged her earlier, but he was sure now.  
The girl was pregnant!

He was very emotionally confused. She must have gotten back with the boyfriend she had been so afraid of hurting when they had first slept together.  
'Was that was she had come here to tell him? Had she wanted to tell him to his face that there was no hope for them?'  
It was probably for the best, but the thought made him feel very sad.

After their lunch he took her for a stroll in a nearby park.  
He felt her little hand sneak into his and he smiled down at her.

"Erik...there´s something I need to tell you" she said after a while.

'Here we go' Erik thought.

She stopped walking and turned to him without letting go of his hand.

"Erik I´m pregnant" she said.

He gave her a forced smile. "Congratulations Christine. I take it you made up with Raoul".

"What? No Erik, the baby´s yours..."though she was speaking in a low voice he heard her loud and clearly.

"What? You mean...you and I...? Christine how can this be?"all kinds of feelings were welling up in him.

"We weren´t exactly careful when we were together" she said.

"Oh God Christine. How pregnant are you?" he asked.

"Nearly 7 months" she said nervously.

"7 months! Why didn´t you tell me sooner?" Erik exclaimed.

"I´m sorry Erik. I wouldn´t tell you in a letter...are you mad at me?"she asked and he could see tears begin to form in her eyes.

He quickly wrapped his arms around her in a gentle hug.

"No of course I´m not mad! Surprised yes, but not mad" he said soothingly and planted a kiss in her hair.

"So you´re happy about the baby" she mumbled against his chest.

He cupped her cheek and smiled.

"Yes Christine, I´m happy. There´s a lot of things in my personal life I shall have to sort out, but I´m quite sure we´ll find a way to handle this child" he said.

She hugged him close and he could hear her weep quietly.

"Christine what´s the matter" he asked concerned.

"I was so afraid you would be mad at me and tell me to leave" she cried.

He rubbed her back gently. "Shh it´s alright Christine. We´ll find a way" he whispered, not sure if he was trying to convince her or himself.

Back at the opera house Erik offered to give Christine a personally guided tour.  
They were just on their way up the big stairs when a voice rang out in the foyer.

"Erik!"

Both turned and Christine eyed the tall blonde woman who came towards them.

"Gi...Giselle, what are you doing here?" Erik stuttered.

"Papa had business in town so I came along. Oh I´ve missed you so much ma chéri!" the woman said and threw her arms around Erik and planted a kiss on his cheek.

At that moment she noticed Christine who had gone quite pale.

"Oh, I´m sorry. Was I interupting your work?" she asked.

Erik cleared his throat. "No, Giselle. This is Christine Daaé a dear friend of mine from England" he said nervously. "Christine this is my friend Giselle."

Giselle giggled. "Don´t be silly Erik, I´m more than a friend."  
She stretched her hand out to Christine. "Giselle Bertrand, I´m Erik´s fiancé".


	9. Frustration

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: peeks ot from bombshelter sorry, I know it was an evil cliffie to leave you with for so long...  
Anyway, I´m going to Paris for a week (no I´m not pregnant and looking for my baby´s father) so I hope you can entertain yourselves with this chapter for so long:)**

**Shdwcat27: definitely not cool:)**

**Twinkle22: Thanks, I think he does too:)**

**phantomann: sorry, I´m sure he´ll try and make it work:)**

**Phantomandvampirelover: Maybe he will...:)**

**you´llbemyangel: thanks, Giselle is not very popular:)**

**potophan1010: there you go:)**

**Lady Skywalker: Agree with you on the pregnant girl thing;)**

**tink20: argh please don´t hurt me:) here´s the next chapter:)**

**A.D.Chandler: It´s not good...**

**Gottogirl: No, Giselle comes from a really annoying girl I knew once...Erik is not that much of a stud, something else attracts Giselle to him, you´ll see later...:)**

**erik´sangel527: thanks for all you reviews, I´m so glad you like this. **

**satinzevi89: Giselle had been around for a while, you´ll see:)**

**Bre: Here you are:)**

**trisana: Yup:)**

The soft knock on the door was followed by Camille´s friendly face peeking into the room.

"Christine dear, there´s a gentleman here to see you" she said softly.

"I don´t want to talk to him" Christine hiccuped from the bed and pulled the covers futher up around her body.

"He´s very upset, I think you should talk to him"Camille tried.

"_He´s _upset?" Christine exclaimed. "Funny, because he seems to have things going for him. Just tell him to leave me alone" she said.

"Christine come on! We need to talk" Erik´s voice sounded quite desperate in the hallway.

"Fine" Christine sighed. "Tell him to give me 5 minutes Camille."

Erik found her standing by the window as he entered the room. She had tried to freshen up, but her eyes were still red and puffy from crying and he felt bad for being responsible for her tears.

"Christine..."he attempted.

"Why didn´t you tell me?" she snapped.

"It didn´t seem important" he knew it sounded lame.

"Not important? Look at me Erik! I´m 17 years old and pregnant with your child and you didn´t think it was important to tell me you were engaged?" she spat.

"I´m sorry Christine..."he said softly.

"How long have you been with her?" she asked.

"About 3 years" he answered.

"Great! So you were engaged when you seduced me? You´re some kind of man Erik! I thought you´d never known affection in that way, but appearently that was just a part of your plan to get into my pants!" she yelled.

"Christine don´t be ridiculous! You´re getting it all wrong. Giselle and I were having big problems when I stayed in England. She had sort of broken up with me" he explained.

"Oh, so I was your rebound fuck? Thanks a lot Erik" she huffed.

"Would you stop Christine! You know I loved you. Giselle was the first woman to ever show me affection in that way yes, but I never felt the way about her as I do about you!" he said raising his voice.

"Really? Because you looked quite happy together earlier" Christine said.

"She cares a lot more for me than I do for her trust me" Erik said.

"So are you going to break off the engagement?" Christine asked.

"I don´t think I can..."he trailed off.

"You can´t or you won´t?" Christine spat.

"Christine, it´s complicated..." he groaned.

"Well, it´s about to get a lot more complicated. I´m giving birth to your child soon. What do you suggest I tell the kid when it asks about Daddy?" she asked angrily.

"I didn´t ask you to get pregnant!" Erik was getting frustrated.

"What? Do you think _I_ asked for it? I didn´t get myself pregnant! You played quite an important part in this as well" she said hurt.

"Well maybe you should have told me earlier so we could have made the decision together. Maybe you should have gotten rid of it" Erik said.

"You said you were happy about the child and now you wish I had killed it? Get out Erik! Now!" she screamed.

"Christine I´m sorry! I wasn´t thinking. Please, I didn´t mean that!" he said and tried to put his arms around her, but she avoided him.

"No! I´m serious. Get out!" angry tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Camille opened the door.

"Monsieur I think you should leave" she said.

"Please Madame, stay out of this" Erik said rudely.

"Monsieur you´re disturbing the other tenants. I shall have to call the police if you don´t leave willingly" Camille warned.

"Christine please..." he tried again.

"No Erik, just leave" she said weakly.

"I love you..."he said sadly as he went out the door.

"Stop lying to me and leave" she said firmly and Camille shut the door after them.

Christine was curled up on her bed and had been for hours. She didn´t even move when she heard Camille enter the room and place a tray of food her her table.

The older woman sat down on the edge of the bed and began rubbing Christine´s back gently.

"Don´t be so sad my dear. You´ll see he´ll come around eventually" she soothed.

"No he won´t. He doesn´t care about me and the child. He´s going to marry someone else" Christine sniffed.

"But he said he loved you dear. He was very sad that you threw him out" Camille said gently.

"If he loves me why won´t he break off his engagement? I can´t live without him, I love him!" Christine began to weep heavily and Camille didn´t know what to do.

"Maybe you should go back to your home. Give him some time to think"Camille suggested.

"But I have nowhere to go! My parents kicked me out and my friends are busy in school. Erik was all I had and now I don´t even have hime anymore" Christine wailed.

"Try and eat some of the food and get some rest dear. I´m sure things will look better in the morning" Camille said with a little smile before leaving the room.

"Meg! What are you doing here?" Raoul asked surprised as he answered the door.

"Hey Chagny, you got an A in French right?" the young blonde asked.

"Yeah I did. Why do you ask?" Raoul was at a loss here.

"Great!" Meg exclaimed and grabbed his hand. "We´re going to Paris and _I_ really didn´t pay attention in French class" she said and started dragging him out of the door.

"Whoa, hold on a second Meg! Why are we going to Paris all of a sudden? Are you so eager to see the romantic city with me?" he winked at her.

"Don´t flatter yourself pretty boy! We´re going to see Christine" Meg huffed.

"Christine is in Paris?" Raoul really looked confused.

"Ok, Chagny, make me some tea and I´ll explain things to you" she said and walked into his house.

"...and now he´s probably going to marry Giselle and Christine is really out of it" Meg finished.

"Bastard!" Raoul growled. "Why doesn´t she just come home?"

"What would she do here? My Mum tried to talk to her parents, but they are sticking to their decision. I think her Mum would like her home though, but her Dad is really tough. Besides she wants to stay in Paris and be close to Erik" Meg sighed.

"But how will she manage there? Does she have a job and a place to live?" Raoul asked.

"She has a place to stay for now and Erik will have to pay some kind of child support I suppose – if he doesn´t coe to his senses and leaves that woman. I don´t know what she´ll do about work..." Meg said. "She´s really down Raoul She was crying when she called me. I know it sounds crazy to just go to Paris, but she really needs her friends" Meg pleaded.

"When do we leave?" Raoul asked and Meg smiled relieved.

"Bonjour Madame, my name is Raoul de Chagny. Does Christine Daáe live here?" Raoul asked in such perfect French that Meg nearly threw up.

"Oh, you must be her friends! Come in come in" Camille smiled.

After introducing themselves Camille took them upstairs.

"She will be so happy to see you. She has spent the past couple of weeks in her room, poor girl. She´s been so teribly let down by that boyfriend" Camille sighed. "There you are, just go in I´ll be downstairs if you need me" she said and left them outside Christine´s door.

When no one answered their knocking Meg carefully opened the door.  
Christine was breathing softly in her sleep.A book about baby-minding was falling from her hands and Meg felt like crying.

'She´s trying so hard! Why can´t this be just a little easy on her' she thought.

She kneeled down next to the bed and pushed the curls out of Christine´s face.

"Christine...?" she said silently.

Christine´s eyes fluttered open and she smiled. "Meg! You came!" She sat up nd the two girls hugged fiercely.

"Of course I came. Do you think I´d leave you alone with this?" Meg said. "Look who tagged along".

"Raoul!" Christine exclaimed.

"Hi Chris" he said with a little smile

She rose from the bed and went to hug him as well. "I´m really happy to see you" she said through the tears that had begun to run down her cheeks.

Raoul hugged her back and then looked at her. "Wow, you´ve gotten really big Chris" he grinned at her.

"Yeah, the kid is growing fast" Meg joined in.

Christine smiled. "I know, I feel like a whale! Oh I´m so happy to see you both. This means so much to me" she hugged them again.

"Why don´t I go out and find us a place to have dinner. Then you two can talk while I´m out" Raoul offered.

"That would be lovely Raoul. There´s a couple of cheap places close by" Christine said gratefully.

"So, any news?" Meg asked carefully when Raoul had left.

Christine sighed. "He has sent me letters and called begging me to meet him so he can explain".

"And?" Meg asked.

"I´ve told him I won´t see him until he can tell me he´s going to leave Giselle" Christine said.

"And what does he have to say about that?" Meg asked feeling angry with Erik on Christine´s behalf.

"Well, he keeps telling me that it´s complicated and he needs to see me to explain things. I just don´t see what can be so complicated! Yes, she´ll probably be heartbroken, but what about me? I´m the one having his child shortly! The only reason I can see is that he loves her and really doesn´t want to leave her" Christine finished.

"So what will you do if that´s really the truth? Are you just going to stay here and raise the child?" Meg asked.

"What else can I do? I can´t really go home and I´d want the child to be close to Erik. I´m sure he´ll want to see it once it´s born" Christine said.

"Mum offered that you could stay with us if you´d like to" Meg smiled.

"Thanks Meg. I really appreciate that, but she has already done so much, speaking to my parents and everything. I will just stay here for now" Christine said thankfully.

"Just don´t hesitate to aks for help Christine. Even though things do seem hard there are people who´ll help you. You don´t have to be alone with this"Meg said kindly and put an arm around Christine´s shoulders.

"Thank you Meg, that´s good to know" Christine smiled and hugged her friend.

Meg and Raoul stayed for as long as they could before they had to go back and prepare for their college starts.  
Christine had throughoutly enjoyed the company of her friends and she had even had a good long talk with Raoul about the tention there had been between them since she had broken up with him  
Their company had kept her mind off of Erik and she had felt happier than she had in quite some time.

But now when they had gone real life returned to her.

She had been in Paris for a long time now and she was slowly running out of money.  
Though she had brought all of her savings when she came it wouldn´t last forever.  
She also knew that with the baby due soon she probably wouldn´t be able to get a job.  
Who would hire a heavily pregnant teenage girl who were just beginning to understand the French language?  
She would most likely have to swallow her pride and ask Erik for some money to support herself and the child.

'Erik'. Just thinking of him brought tears to her eyes. She had really thought all her problems would be over once he got involved – how wrong she had been.

She couldn´t for the love of God understand why he couldn´t leave Giselle.  
He had loved _her_ – she knew he still did.  
People left each other all the time these days. Whay was it so difficult in this case?  
He kept talking about explaining, but she had been too stubborn to listen. Maybe she should hear him out, she couldn´t stay mad at him forever.  
It was too late to call him now, but she would definitely do so in the morning.

She got up to close her window for the night when she felt a stabbing pain in her lower back.  
She gasped and sat back down on the bed squeezing her eyes shut to make the pain go away. It subsided after a moment and she let out her breath.  
'Could this be what she thought it was? No, the baby wasn´t due yet, she was sure of that. Her body was probably just reacting to the stress she had felt the past few days'.

Her body was uneasy all night and she slept very bad. She looked exhausted when she came downstairs the next morning and Camille eyed her with concern.

"You look very tired Christine. Didn´t you sleep at all? She asked.

Christine shook her head weakly. "I wasn´t feeling well. I couldn´t sleep. I´ve had these terrible pains in my back all night" she sighed.

Before Camille could comment on that, another wave of pain hit Christine and she doubled over moaning in agony.

"Good Lord child, you´re in labour!" Camille gasped.

"No, I can´t be. It´s too soon!" Christine panted.

"Your baby doesn´t seem to think so dear. Come on, we´ve got to get you to the hospital" Camille said.

Erik put the phone down and didn´t hesitate for a minute before grabbing his keyes and heading for the door.

'He was never going to forgive himself if something had gone wrong!'


	10. Explanation

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: I´m back and ready with the new chapter, hope you´ll enjoy it:)**

**phantomann: thanks, no the point of Meg and Raoul´s visit was to take Christine´s mind of off Erik so no confrontation this time:)**

**Twinkle22: Thanks you, here´s a new one for you:)**

**erik´sangel527: thanks, it won´t be that early:) hope you will come to like Erik later in the story...**

**trisana: maybe, maybe not. I don´t know if it fits in yet. Though Erik will be told off for messing things up like this:)**

**Phantomandvampirelover: Thanks, the kid does need a Dad, Erik would never leave Christine completely...I hope...**

**you´llbemyangel: Thanks, you´ll know why soon...**

**satinzevi89:you´ll see:)**

**La Romantique Perdue: Thanks, I think you review is possitive, though I really suck at French;)**

**Gottogirl: Thanks, I´ll try and go easy on the cliffies...;-)**

**tink20: Thanks;) even I hate my Erik at some points, but I hope things will get better...**

**Random Day: Oh who can resist those eyes:) here´s a bone for you;)**

Christine drew in a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes. She had never felt this tired in her life. She blinked her eyes a few times and tried to remember where she was. She sawa figure sitting by her bed and everything came back to her.

"Erik?" she whispered.

He looked up from the little pink bundle he was holding in his arms and smiled at her.

"Goodmorning sleepyhead. We thought you were going to be out for days" he said softly.

"The baby? Is it alright?" she asked with slight panic in her voice and struggled to sit up in the bed.

Erik rose from his seat and went to her.

"Take it easy Christine you must be very sore. The baby is perfectly fine. Have a look for yourself" he said and gently placed the sleeping form in her arms.

Christine carefully pushed the pink blanket aside and looked at her child. Tears welled up in her eyes as the baby made a little squeaking sound in her sleep and settled in her mother´s embrace.

"She looks fine, but I thought it was too soon for her to be born?" Christine said and looked at Erik.

"She is perfectly healthy. 10 fingers, 10 toes and a beautiful face. She is a little premature, but only by a couple of weeks. Nothing to worry about. The doctors reckon you were a bit futher along than you thought. You never really had any proper check-ups did you?" Erik asked and ran a hand affectionally over Christine´s dark curls.

"No I didn´t. I was so scared something was going to go wrong, but she´s here now" Christine sighed and leaned into Erik´s touch.

"You did a great job with her" Erik said and planted a kiss in her hair.

"_We_ did a great job" Christine whispered.

None of them said anything for a while until Christine looked up at Erik.

"How did you know I was here? That I was going to have the baby now?" she asked.

"When you were brought in Camille wanted to contact me, but she didn´t know how to. She called the number Meg had left when she had been to see you and Meg then called me" he explained. "You have a good friend in her Christine. I always just thought of her as Anne´s little girl, but she is some young woman now. I´ve never heard her yell like that. She gave me hell for the way I´ve treated you..."he said sadly and Christine noticed the tears forming in his eyes.

"I´m sorry Erik..." she said softly.

His head shot up at her words. "No, don´t you ever apologize to me! I _have _treated you like shit and I´m so sorry Christine! I love you, I really do and I love our daughter so much. I never menat to hurt you, but I have and I can never forgive myself for that" he was crying openly now.

Sensing her father´s mood the baby began to fuss before breaking out in a full blown wail. Christine looked from her daughter to the crying man beside her and most of all felt like crying herself, but what good would that do? Instead she started rocking the baby gently in her arms and turned the rest of her attention to Erik.

"Erik don´t be so hard on yourself, we´ve both done things that weren´t too clever through all this, but let´s talk about it" she said soothingly.

"But I don´t want you to hate me" Erik said heartbroken.

"I don´t hate you Erik, I never could. You´re the father of my daughter, I love you" Christine said and his tears subsided slightly.

She then turned her full attention to the wailing child in her arms who didn´t seem to calm down at all.

"Shh babygirl it´s ok, there´s no need to be so sad" she cooed gently.

"Maybe she´s hungry" Erik sniffed.

Christine looked at him. "You think so?"

"Could be. Try and feed her", he suggested.

Christine was ready to do anything to make the baby stop crying and carefully began to feed her. The baby instantly quited and began eating happily. Christine smiled relieved.

"I guess you were right" she said to Erik without taking her eyes of off her daughter.

"Well, I bought this book about babies when you told me you were pregnant..." Erik shrugged with a little smile.

Christine felt a warm happiness in her heart at the thought of Erik taking so much interest in the baby.

Erik reached out his hand to gently stroke the baby´s soft cheek while she ate and looked at his daughter with great affection. Pulling his hand away his fingertips carefully graced Christine´s breast and she looked up at him with a sweet smile.

Slowly he bent down and brushed his lips against hers, softly at first and when he felt her respond he claimed her lips in a sweet loving kiss.

"I love you with all my heart" he whispered against her lips. "I so wish I could make you happy. Please let me explain things to you Christine" he pleaded.

She pulled her lips away from his. "I´m ready to listen Erik. I know it won´t be pleasant, but I will hear you out" she said sadly.

When the baby had finished eating Christine settled her back in her arms and the little girl slowly drifted off to sleep again.  
Erik sat down on the edge of the bed grabbed Christine´s hand and cleared his throat.

"I met Giselle 3 years ago when she began coming to the opera house with her father. He was a long-time enthusiastic guest to the opera and I was pleased to meet his daughter.  
I came to speak to her at the reception after the performance and she did seem very interested in the theatre. I have recieved many praises for my work during the years I´ve been in Paris, but in a way Giselle´s interest seemed more genuine than other´s.  
After having met her a couple of times after performances she asked me to join her and her father for dinner. From there on it became a regular thing for us to have dinner after the performances, sometimes before and sometimes on days where there were no performances at all. One night she kissed me and I reacted to my first kiss in the only way I knew how to-I kissed her back.  
I was flattered by a woman like her showing that kind of interest in me and I followed her in any initiative she took to extend out relationship.  
Then she began to drop certain hints whenever we passed a jewelery store and of course I bought her the ring she wanted so badly. She was happy and her father was overjoyed and I guess I was happy too" Erik paused for a second and Christine took the opportunity to talk.

"It sounds like things were perfect, but you told me that she broke up with you when you came to stay in England. What happened?" she asked.

"I thought everything was fine. I had given her a ring, took her out for dinners and brought her to all the openings of new performances. I even accompanied her to tons of social events with all her shallow friends even though I hate such things. No matter what she didn´t seem to be satified and when I questioned her about it she complained about me never telling her I loved her.  
I told her I was very fond of her and pleased with her company. That made her even more angry and we had a huge fight" Erik said.

"Why didn´t you just tell her you loved her? You surely must have" Christine said puzzled.

"I did feel something for her, but even though I had never been in love before I knew I wasn´t in love with Giselle. I was simply very fond of her. When I met you Christine I learned for the first time what real love was. You took me by surprise with your kind person and unconditional love for music. You let me into your heart and accepted me with all my faults. You even loved my hideous distorted face and I finally found someone I trusted and loved completely.  
And what did I do in return? I ripped your heart out and stomped on it!  
I went back to Paris to sort out things with Giselle so you and I could live a life together like we talked about when you had finished college. Instead I got you pregnant and ruined your future and now I can´t even offer you and our daughter a normal loving family life. I´m such an ungrateful excuse of a man Christine!" he sighed sadly.

"But why can´t you just leave her Erik? I don´t understand it. You don´t love her, you don´t owe her anything!" Christine cried.

He took the sleeping baby from her arms and placed her in the bassinet next to the bed.  
He thensat back on the bed and wrapped his arms around Christine.

"There´s nothing I want more in this world than to leave Giselle and live my life with you, but appearantly Giselle loved the social status that being with the famous opera composer offered her so she went to Daddy and complained.  
Monsieur Bertrand is one of the greatest financial supportors of the opera house. You may not believe it, but without his fundings the opera house won´t be able to keep up its standars of performances and daily maintainance. The state and tourists doesn´t pay for everything. We rely on private sponsors and especially Maurice Bertrand´s company" he said.

"But what does that have to do with you?" Christine asked and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"That day you told me I was going to be a father I told Giselle I wanted to end our engagement. She wasn´t pleased. Christine, if I break off the engagement her father is going to withdraw all his fundings. If it was just me who would loose my job I wouldn´t hesitate a second, but this will affect so many employees and the opera will loose its great international status. I can´t do that to all those people" Erik sighed and tightened his arms around Christine who had begun to weep silently.

"I will do anything possible for you and our daughter Christine. I will provide you with money and if you´ll allow me to I will visit as often as I can. Giselle knows that there is a child, but she doesn´t know you´re it´s mother. I need to protect you, I won´t let her make your life worse. It won´t be perfect, but it will be something Christine. Can you live with that?" he asked.

She nodded gainst his chest. "I will rather have a little of you than not have you at all" she sniffed. "I just hope it won´t be forever."

"Me neither Christine" he said and kissed her hair.

" Erik I´m tired, would you sing for me? Please sing that song about the music of the night. It reminds me of a lullaby" she said and yawned.

"Of course Christine, close your eyes and rest" he said and began to sing to her gently.

**Hope you liked:) I plan to update soon hopefully:)**


	11. Moments of happiness

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: hope you´ll enjoy this, just a bit of seriousness and fluff:)**

**Twinkle22: Thanks, I had a great time:) they will have nice moments with their little girl (who has been named;))**

**you´llbemyangel: thanks:) you´ll see:)**

**phantomann: glad you liked:) I don´t hope so either, ydr:)**

**tink20: thanks, I know what you mean:) Giselle is horrible:)**

"Alana would you please stop, I can´t take it anymore!" Christine cried as her own tears mingled with her daughter´s frantic cries. Seconds later Camille entered the room in her nightgown.

"Christine it´s 3.am and the child has been crying for 45 minutes! Half of this house is going to university tomorrow, you have to do something!" Camille sighed.

"But what Camille? I´ve fed her, I´ve changed her, I´ve been singing to her, I´ve threatened her! I can´t handle this, I´m a horrible mother!" Christine cried as she slumped down on the bed and sobbed while rocking the screaming baby.

"Oh Christine there´s no need to panic. You´re a great mother to her. All babies do this, you´re not doing anything wrong" Camille comforted her and gently took the wailing child from her arms. She started walking around the room with her like Christine had done for nearly an hour and in a couple of minutes Alana began to calm down.

Camille turned to Christine. "There you see dear, they have a will of their own, they..." Camille stopped and smiled. Christine wasn´t listening, she was sound asleep on the bed. Camille gently placed Alana in her crib and tucked the covers over Christine. "Sleep now child, you deserve it" she whispered before returning to her own bed.

A week later Christine was sitting in the kitchen. The dark circles under her eyes clearly revealed that Alana´s sleeping habbits hadn´t changed much.  
Camille placed a cup of tea infront of her and sat down on the opposite chair.

"Christine there are some things we have to talk about, I´m afraid Alana´s crying is disturbing the other tenants" Camille said.

"I know Camille. I´m really sorry. I´ve tried everything the books say, but she still cries in the middle of the night" Christine sighed.

"Usually the crying will stop after a few months, but that is too long if it means that half of the students will move out. We will have to work something out" Camille said gently.

"_I _really should be moving out, but even with the money Erik gives me I wouldn´t be able to afford my own place. And I wouldn´t be able to get a job because no one would be there to look after Alana. Even as things are now I really should get a job. Everything is so expensive and I will not ask Erik for more money" Christine said in an upgiving voice.

"Now child, I wasn´t talking about anything as drastic as having you moving out. I have been considering things and I have a suggestion for you. There is a room close to my own which is slightly bigger than the one you´re in now. It´s also futher away from the other rooms so no one would be disturbed by Alana. I want you to move into that room. Seeing as I´m getting older I will offer to reduce your current rent if you would agree to help out with some of the daily work like cleaning and things. Should you still need money I would be happy to look after Alana for you while you´re working. What do you think about that?" Camille asked.

Christine surprised the older woman by throwing her arms around her neck in a tight hug. "Oh Camille thank you so much! That would be wonderful!" she exclaimed.

Camille smiled and padded the young girl´s back. "I´m only happy to help you dearest" she said.

Christine sat back down and looked at Camille. "You have done so much for me. Why are you doing this for a stranger?" she asked carefully.

Camille rose from her chair and went over to open a little drawer. She came back and handed Christine something. A photo. Christine looked at it. A beautiful young girl with red hair and green eyes smiled back at her.

"My daughter Josefine" Camille said. "20 years ago she came to me and told me she was expecting a baby. She was 16 years old."

Christine looked up at Camille. "She looks very sweet. Is she living close by?" she asked.

Camille shook her head. "I got very upset with her. Her father left us when she was 7 and I had worked hard to raise her. She was an uncontrolable teenager and the thought of her having a child just pushed me over the edge. We had an awful fight and she said she would run away with her boyfriend. She stormed out of the house telling me that she hated me" Camille stopped trying to control her tears. "The phonecall came early in the morning. Their car had crashedon the highway and my Josefine was killed instantly. I never got to tell her that I was wrong and that I would always love her no matter what she did" Camille wept.

Christine got up and embraced the older woman. "I´m sure she knows Camille. She has been watching you all these years and she knows you love her" she soothed.

"When you came here I felt like I had been given a second chance. If I helped you maybe God would forgive me for driving my own child to her death" Camille sniffed. "In the beginning it was mostly for my own benefit, but as I came to know you I began to care for you for the person you are Christine".

"The room...?" Christine asked carefully.

"Is Josefine´s old room, but you´re not a substitute for her. You´re a unique young woman whom I will help as much as I can if you´ll let me" Camille finished.

Christine felt teary-eyed herself. "I can never thank you enough for all your help Camille. Don´t worry, God will have forgiven you by now" she whispered.

"You must do me one favour Christine" Camille said.

"Yes anything" Christine answered.

"You must contact your parents. They may have acted wrong, but don´t let them make the mistake I made" she said and looked Christine firmly in the eyes.

"I will Camille. I will write them" she promised.

_My dear Christine.  
__I can not tell you how pleased we were to recieve your letter. Your mother has not been her happy self since the day you left and I miss you so terribly much my little princess.  
__We now realize what a horrible mistake we made in trying to force you to give up the child. The pictures you sent of baby Alana are absolutely gorgeous and we are proud that she is our granddaughter.  
__You are a young woman of 18 years now and we know you are legally able to make your own decisions now – though you have already proven to be capeable of doing do.  
__We have nothing to say in the decisions you make, but we hope that you do not hate us as much as you have every right to. __Christine I have always been a hard man, but I am doing something now that I have never done before. I am begging. I am begging you to come home and visit. If you would like to stay for good you are very welcome to do so, but a visit is all we ask for.  
__No matter what you decide to do please know that we love you and Alana very much._

_Sincere love  
__Your parents  
__Marie & Charles. _

"So are you going to see them?" Erik asked and handed the letter back to her.

"Yes. I want to see them and Alana is nearly 5 months old, it´s time I have a talk with them" Christine said.

"Would you consider staying there permanently?" Erik asked and looked down at the blanket they were sitting on.

Christine threw one of Alana´s biting toys at him and grinned. "And miss these twice-a-month outings to your home when your precious fiancé is out of town visiting Mum and Dad? No Erik."

He leaned in and kissed her, careful not to crush Alana who was feeding happily from her mother´s breast. "I love you and I hope you have a great time with your parents. Just please come back to me at some time" he said in between kisses.

"I will" she said with a smile and handed Alana to him. "Here you can burb her, I need to go to the bathroom"she said and got up.

As she made her way back to the livingroom Erik called out to her. "Christine love, could you bring a cloth from the kitchen please?"

"What for?" she asked as she entered the room and then burst out laughing. "Erik what did I tell you about bouncing her on your knee when she has just been fed?"

"Just get the damn cloth will you!" he snorted with laughter.

When he had cleaned himself and their daughter off they sat in a comfortable silence watching the little girl rolling around on the blanket playing with her toys.

"So, when are you leaving?" Erik asked after a while.

"In a few days or so. It´s a good time seeing as most of the students are still off on their christmas holidays so Camille won´t have too much work to deal with" she said.

"I actually wondered why you hadn´t just gone back and spent christmas with your parents since you had anyway decided to go home" he said and nuzzled her neck.

"No that would have been too weird. Besides I really wanted to spend christmas with Camille. It´s still going to be strange seeing them again" she sighed enjoying his caress.

"Have you told them about our somewhat complicated family situation?" Erik asked with care.

"Yeah I did mention it in my letter, but I need to explain it completely when I see them. I hate to tell you this Erik, but you´re probably not going to be Mr. Popular in my family" she said and entwined her fingers with his.

"I kind of figured that out. I´m going to make it up to you one day Christine" he said softly.

"Don´t make promises you can´t keep" she said with a slight frown.

Erik was surprised by her sudden change of mood. "Don´t you believe me?" he asked.

"I´m not saying I don´t believe you. It´s just...none of us know what will happen in the future and I don´t want to get my hopes up in case they can´t be fulfilled"she said and got up from the floor.

Erik stared at her as she began to put Alana´s toys into a bag. He reached his hands out and grabbed her wrists to still her actions. She stopped, but kept her eyes fixed on the floor and he knew she was trying to hide her tears from him. He moved closer to her and pulled her into his lap craddling her in his arms.

"I don´t want to fight about this. I know things are tough and you´re working hard to take of our little angel. I´m very proud of you and you know how desperately I wish things were different too. I´m trying Christine, I really am. We´re constantly applying for new sponsors, but people sit very hard on their money these days. Just don´t ever think I´ll stop fighting for us" he whispered as he rocked her gently.

"I know. I don´t want to fight either" she sniffed and brought her lips up to kiss him deeply. "Take us home?" she asked as they broke apart.

"Of course" he said and kissed her nose.

"Are you sure you don´t want me help you carry the stuff inside? You don´t want to wake Alana" he asked as he put the car to stop infront of her place.

"No I´ll manage" she said with a smile. She leaned over and kissed him. "I know you can´t take us to the airport in case anyone sees us or anything, but please come and see me before we leave" she said.

"Nothing can keep me away" he smiled.

As she reached the frontdoor he rolled the car window down.

"Christine" he called.

"Yeah?" she looked at him.

"I love you"

"I love you too" she smiled widely before letting herself into the house.

**A/N: Alana means "darling" and I think it suits the girl perfectly:)**


	12. A twist

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: I know you´re probably all going to really hate me for this chapter,  
****but please have faith in me. I plan on making things right eventually:)**

**Phantomann: hope you´re enjoying your vacation:) There is a spine in the making for  
****my Erik, it´s just not quite ready yet. Yeah he kind of lives with Giselle, as for  
****the sleeping together part you´ll see in this chap. Raoul´s reappearance...I don´t  
****know yet, he might...:)**

**Tink20: thank you, yeah they couldn´t stay mad at her forever:)**

**Twinkle22: here´s an update for you. I agree with you on the Giselle thing...working  
****on it;)**

**You´llbemyangel: here you are, glad you like the name:)**

**Erik´sphantomess: Thanks for your review, that´s definitely a way to look at it:)**

**Phantomlover22: Thank you very much:)**

**Gottogirl: yeah I decided to go easy on you, but that ends now;) Alana is often sort  
of "translated" to **leanbh** which means **child** in Irish. A popular interpretation of  
that is "darling" or "darling child":)**

**Wandering-Phantom: I agree:) I wish it would be that easy for him...**

"So how´s it going with Mum and Dad?" Meg asked and put her coffee cup down.

"It´s going ok" Christine said with a smile. "Once we got through all the hugs,  
kisses and I´m- sorrys it´s actually quite alright".

"And I´m sure they´re absolutely besotted with her" Meg smiled and gestured at 10  
months old Alana who slept peacefully in her buggy.

"Of course. Mum is already talking about singing lessons and everythingand with the lung power she  
posesses I´m sure she´ll be great" Christine said.

"I think you´re right" Meg grinned remembering the scream Alana had broken into  
earlier when Christine had refused her a second cookie.

"It´s really good to see you Chris! Honestly, if you had told me earlier that you  
were coming home after christmas I wouldn´t have gone skiing" Meg said.

"I know, but everything went so fast. It took me months to gather the courage to  
write my parents andonce I got their positive reply I just couldn´t get here fast  
enough. Your mother told me how sad you would be, but we have all summer now"Christine said and squeezed her friend´s hand.

"I can´t believe you´re staying the whole summer. Won´t Erik mind terribly?" Meg asked.

"Yes of course. He said he´d miss us a lot, but he´ll be busy playing the doting  
fiancé at numerous parties if I know Giselle right" Christine said with a false smile.

"What do your parents think of the situation" Meg asked carefully.

"Well, my Dad is ready to kill Erik and my mother is still morning the fact that mRaoul and I won´t get back together" Christine sighed.

"Christine really, you´re the mother of his child and you gave up college to take care of the baby. He says he loves you so what is his problem" Meg said with sudden irritation.

"Well Giselle..." Christine tried.

"Oh would you shut up about Giselle! Does her love _her_? No! Does she have him where she wants him? Yes! But there are things to be done Christine! Tell Erik to find another job. If he´s not with the Paris Opera Giselle´s father could not hurt him bym withdrawing his support" Meg said angrily.

"But he would anyway Meg! He would do it and blame Erik for everything! Erik is a good man, he cares for those people, he won´t hurt them!" Christine said with equally rising anger in her voice.

"He cares Christine? He won´t hurt them? Fine, but it´s ok for him to hurt you? To break your heart over and over again? Look at her!" Meg pointed at the sleeping Alana. "She´s the sweetest most beautiful child in the world! She deserves her father! She may not care now, but when she gets older it´s going to be hard! Don´t you remember Chris? 'Megan has no Daddy!' How many kids did you hit for saying that at school? What will you do when it´s 'Alana has no Daddy!'? You can´t hit the kids now Christine!" Meg asked.

Christine had angry tears in her eyes. "It won´t be like that! He says we´ll work it out!" she defended herself.

Meg´s eyes softened and her anger slowly vanished. "Christine she´s almost a year old and nothing has changed. You can´t let it go on. What will happen when Giselle decides to tighten the leash? She´s not as young as you Chris. Soon she´ll want marriage and children. Will Erik say no to her then?" she said softly.

"He´s not sleeping with her. There will be no children" Christine sniffed.

"But what about the marriage?" Meg asked.

"I don´t know. I don´t think I could handle that" Christine whispered.

"So tell him Christine. I know Erik. I have known him since I was 3 years old. Though I have always been a little scared of him I know he´s of a good nature. His geniousness in music have made him respected, but few people have treated him good for the right reasons. Strangely enough he seems to care for others though. What you´re telling about his devotion to the opera proves that to me, but if he sacrifices himself and your life on that account it´s not ok" Meg smiled sadly at her best friend. "You have changed so much Christine. Do you remeber the day in my bathroom when you found out about Alana? You were just a child who was going to have a child of your own. Now you sit before me little more than a year later as mother and a strongyoung woman. I admire you Christine! But I will be damned if I see you ruin yourself because of Erik."

Christine smiled through her tears. "I love you Meg, I really do. No one has ever been more like a sister to me than you have. I promise you I won´t let this tear me apart" she said weakly.

"I´m glad Chris and I love you too" Meg smiled. "Can I ask something else of you?" she said.

Christine nodded.

"If he ever decides to marry her will you promise me to move back here?" she asked.

Christine hesitated.

"I know what I´m asking of you Chris and I know you´d want to be close to him, but if he´s married you need some space" Meg pushed.

"Ok Meg. _If_ he marries Giselle I will come back here" she said reluctantly.

"Thank you" Meg smiled and then noticed Alana beginning to wake up. Quickly she put her hands over her ears. "Here we go" she grinned as the little girl began to whimper.

Christine was sitting on her bed with Alana happily between her legs playing with a doll.

"She smeared the cake all over herself, but she enjoyed it. And I have to say your present is very popular" she said pressing the reciever closer to her ear attempting to feel as close to him as he could.

"I so wish I could have been there. Let me talk to her for a second" Erik said with a lump in his throat.

Christine put the reciever to Alana´s ear and she could hear Erik speaking affectionally to her. The little girl listened for a second and then broke out in a full smile followed by a happy squeal. Christine could hear Erik laugh and she really longed for him at that moment. After a second she made Alana say goodnight and continued her own conversation with Erik.

"She´s waving at you and giving sloppy kisses to the doll" she grinned.

No response.

"Erik, are you still there?" she asked

Still nothing.

"Erik are you crying?"

"I miss you so much Christine. You and our little girl" he wept.

"Oh Erik, don´t do this! You´ll make me cry as well. We´re coming home in 5 days, please" she choked.

"I´ll be there to pick you up my love. I really will" he sniffed.

"But Erik..." Christine tried.

"I don´t care Christine. Giselle from Hell is in Saint Tropez with some friends for the week. I don´t care if anyone sees" he said.

"Thank you Erik. I´ve got to go now. Alana needs to be changed. I´ll call you about the flight details in a few days" she said and hastily said her goodbye. As she put down the phone she broke down in tears and Alana stared curiously at her.

"I know baby, Mummy isacting strange. Listen to me my darling, I want you to fall in love when you get older, but please make sure he is free to love you with no string attached" she sobbed.

She felt her knees go weak as he enveloped her in his arms. She breathed in his scent and longed to feel his lips upon her own, but she knew it wouldn´t happen in the airport. Alana fussed in her buggy and Erik picked her up in a crushing hug.  
Hoisting his daughter up on his hip and putting his arm around Christine´s shoulders he let them to his car.

A blissful month went by, Christine and Alana spent a couple of happy afternoons in Erik´s apartment and sometimes they 'accidently' met in the parks. But one day mthings took a little turn.

Christine had just left Erik´s place and was walking out on the street with Alana when she passed Giselle. 'God that was close'she thought as she pretended to be busy with something in her bag.

"Hey, I know you!" came a sweet voice.

Christine looked up and attempted a smile at the blonde standing before her.

"Ehhh I don´t think so" she said nervously.

"Yes, I met you once at the opera house when you were talking to my fiancé. You must have been one of his students" Giselle said with a big smile. "Oh is that you little sister? She´s so cute!" Giselle squealed and bent down to greet Alana.

The girl took one look at her and begin to cry in a heartbreaking manner.

"She must be tired, I´ve got to go" Christine said and quickly excused herself. "At least you have great taste my darling girl" she grinned as she rounded the corner.

Giselle looked after her. She was sure this girl was the one she had seen Erik with last year. Strange girl, she had been so rude that day and had left nearly before Giselle had had the chance to say hello. And Erik had almost run after her! He was of course devoted to the people at the opera, but to run after a silly teenage girl!  
His devotion. That was the sole reason he was with her. She hated reminding herself about that. That stupid man. Here she had cared for him and stayed with him despite his hideous face and he didn´t return her kindness! What had he done – he had gone out and impregnated some girl. She was glad her father has given Erik that ultimatum. Giselle Bertrand was not the sort of girl a man just dumped because he had a child with someone else!  
A child...Giselle looked in the direction where the curly haired teenager had disappeared. Could it be? No even Erik wouldn´t be stupid enough to do that! But it seemed strange to met this young girl with a child so close to Erik´s home...Maybe they needed a little talk...

Erik was very distant that Sunday afternoon and Christine was beginning to worry.

"Erik is something bothering you? You seem to be somewhere else today" she asked gently.

"No, I´m fine. Just busy at the moment" he snapped and Christine felt slightly hurt.

"Fine, I can just leave if you need to work" she said and jumped off the kitchen counter where she had been sitting.

He stopped buttering the sandwiches he had been making for them and drew in a shaky breath. "Christine did you run into Giselle outside my door last week?" he asked.

Christine´s heart sank. "It was on the street. I pretended not to see her, but I think she recognised me from that day in the opera house. Are you in trouble?" she nearly whispered.

"We´re beyond trouble..." he mumbled, but she heard him.

"Erik...?" she asked.

"She has changed the rules for our little game" he said with a sigh.

"What do you mean?" Christine was confused.

"She has new demands..." He trailed off.

"Erik what are you talking about?" she said desperately.

He turned to her and his eyes were filled with tears. "Marriage Christine. I´m talking about marriage."


	13. Moving on

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: again I must apologize for the long wait, I hope the long chapter makes up for it:)**

**you´llbemyangel: couldn´t agree more:) hope you like this**

**Abby Kovac: Thank you:) No, but he will probably have to...**

**Wandering-Phantom: I know! They will, he´s not done fighting yet:)**

**Twinkle22: sorry for keeping you waiting! Hope you will find this to your liking:)**

**MOON: Thanks:)**

**darkangel: well, I ran into the name Destler in several fics and as I began using it in my own stories it was explained to me by some kind reviewers that it comes from an older movie production of POTO. Glad you like the story:)**

**phantomlover22: I know...**

**starlight63: thank you, here´s some more:)**

**trisana: they probably really don´t know what to do...No, I think her mother is done trying to make dicisions for her...:) **

"Camille I´m really sorry about this, you´ve done so much for me and now I just stick my tail betweeen my legs and run away" Christine sighed with tears in her eyes.

"No Christine, I will not hear anymore I´m – sorrys from you. If you hadn´t decided to go for yourself _I _would have sent you home. You should not be anywhere near this city with the way he has treated you" Camille huffed.

At the mention of Erik Christine lost it and broke down in tears. "Why is he doing this to me? I´m so mad at him, but I still love him! I don´t understand why I have to go through this!" she cried.

Camille squeezed her shoulders gently and tried to comfort her. "I can´t explain it to you dear, I can only say that Erik is a foolish man to let you down again. I hope he will one day come to his senses, but for now you should concentrate on what is good for you and Alana. Going back to England seems like the best idea for now" she said.

Christine sniffed. "But what about you? I´m leaving you with an awful lot of work."

"Oh, don´t worry about that Christine. Melanie, the young art student has agreed to take over your chores. Just promise me to keep me up to date on how you and the little angel are doing. And come to visit whenever you feel like it" Camille smiled.

"Thank you Camille. For everything" Christine said and hugged her.

Both her parents greeted her at the airport and Christine managed to smile even though she most of all felt like crying. Her father handled all her bags and her mother offered to take Alana, but Christine declined. As they walked to the car she clung tightly to her little girl. 'She is all I have of him now' she thought to herself and planted a kiss in her daughter´s jet black curls.

"Holy shit, I never thought it would really come to this" Meg said as she sat on the floor in Christine´s room, trying to teach Alana to do a baby puzzle.

"Neither did I" Christine said looking up from the instructions on how to assemble Alana´s new bed.

"At least you´ll be home for Christmas this year, that´ll be good"Meg tried.

"Yup, that´ll be awesome" Christine said with great sarcasm, but soon regretted. "I´m sorry Meg, I´m probably not the best company right now" she apologized.

"It´s ok Chris, I understand you. I know you´ll be sad for some time, but please try not to turn into a really bitter young woman. You were always so cheerful" Meg smiled.

"I´ll try Meg" Christine said, still working away on the bed.

"We should go Christmas shopping and – No Alana! That´s where the cow goes, not the chicken!" Meg suddenly exclaimed. "God she´s stupid Christine!"

Christine burst out laughing at the impatient look on Meg´s face. "Meg she´s 15 months old! What do you expect?" she grinned.

"But it´s obvious that the chicken would never fit into the cow´s position!" Meg said.

"Says the girl who tried to stuff the triangular shaped block into the square shaped hole at age 4!" Christine snorted and went to pick up Alana.

She planted kisses all over the little girl´s cheek. "Don´t mind Auntie Meg my clever little babe, she wouldn´t know the difference between a cow and a chicken if it jumped up and bit her ass" she said affectionally.

"Thanks alot!" Meg grinned. "How´s her bed coming along?"

Christine turned and looked at her work. "Well, if it falls apart during her sleep _then _I´ll ask my father for help" she said. "Come, let´s make some tea."

"Erik, would you look at these flower decorations?" Giselle´s highpitched voice made him sigh.

"I really don´t care! Just pick whatever you like!" he said angrily.

"Erik, I´m really tired of you not taking any interest in the planning of your own wedding!" Giselle said impatiently.

"This is _your_ wedding Giselle, I´m just playing along" he snapped.

"I know what you´re thinking about Erik, but you can stop sulking now! My father has never denied me anything and neither will he deny me the status that being married to you will give me! I know you have someone else, though you have always refused to tell me who she is. I will not tolerate my husband cheating on me so you can forget about that little slut! The sooner the better"" Giselle hissed.

She felt the air being knocked out of her as he slammed her up against the wall.

"You will never, and I repeat NEVER speak that way of my true love ever again! Do you understand me?" his masked face was so close to hers that she could almost feel the fire in his eyes and she was genuineally scared.

"I...I understand..."she whispered. "Please let go Erik, you´re hurting me..."

"If I was _really _intending to hurt you, you wouldn´t be breathing now!" he hissed and released her. She heard the door to his music room slam and she then sat down in a chair to catch her breath. She felt tears sting in her eyes, but she kept them at bay. This was like all those years ago when that stupid brat Josephine Etienne had lashed out at her in the schoolyard when she had teased her about her father leaving her mother. Josephine had painfully scratched Giselle´s cheek, but she had kept a brave face then and she would do so now. She wouldn´t let people´s anger get her down.  
Taking a few deep breaths she stood up, smoothed her skirt and went to pick out a flower decoration.

Meg was deeply absorbed in her book, when she felt someone deliver a soft swat to the back of her head. She looked up angrily to verbally assult the jerk and saw Raoul´s grinning face.

"Hey Giry, interesting romance novel?" he asked with a smile.

"Hey yourself, dumbass! And it´s not a romance novel" Meg mumbled with irritation.

"No? Really, let me see" he said and took the book from her. "Megan Giry! Economics? What´s gone into you? You´re in performance college!" he said with surprise.

"I know, but I´m thinking of taking some extra classes next year" she said.

"In economics? But Meg...you´re stupid!" he laughed.

Meg glared at him. "That´s what Christine accused of being the other day as well when I was at her house! Really, I do have a brain!" she said angrily.

"Christine is home?" Raoul asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, she has kind of moved back..." Meg sighed.

"Why?" Raoul asked confused.

"Erik is getting married" Meg said and winced as she saw Raoul´s face change.

"That son of a bitch! Who does he think he is playing around with her like that? God, I´d like to tell him to his face what I think of him!" Raoul exclaimed.

"I don´t think Christine would like that. She still loves him..." Meg said carefully.

"How can she still love him? He´s breaking her heart again and again!" Raoul was really upset.

"He is also Alana´s father Raoul. She loves that girl beyond anything and she will never hate Erik because he has given her her daughter" Meg said and put her hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him down.

"I know, it just kills me to see her get hurt again. I will go see her in a few days" he said with a little smile.

"She´d like that" Meg said and returned his smile.

Their little moment of silence was broken by another voice. "Raoul are you coming? It´s freezing here!"

Both looked up and Meg raised an eyebrow at the brunette infront of her.

"Yeah, I´m coming" Raoul said and got up. "By the way Elise this is Meg Giry, an old friend of mine. Meg, this is Elise Reilly she´s in my family-law class". The two girls politely shook hands and then Elise turned her attention to Raoul again.

"Come on, I´m really cold" she said.

As they walked away Raoul suddenly turned around. "Hey Meg, I think it´s a great idea with your new line of study. Good luck!" he called out with a smile.

"Thanks!" Meg called back and felt a funny warmth spread in her body.

It was two days before Christmas, the doorbell rang and Marie went to answer it.

"Raoul!" she exclaimed happily at the sight of the young man on her doorstep. "It´s so good to see you! You have grown so much since I last saw you. Please come in" she said and moved aside.

"Thank you Mrs. Daáe. I heard Christine is back home. Is she in?" Raoul asked as he stepped into the hallway.

"Oh yes, she´s in her room, go on up" Marie said and took his coat. "But a word of advice my dear, be careful if speaking of you-know-who, you wouldn´t want her to bite your head off like she does to everyone else around here" she warned.

"I´ll remember that" he smiled gratefully.

"Christine?" he asked as he carefully opened the door to her room when she didn´t answer his knock.

"Oh, hi Raoul. Sorry I didn´t answer, I thought it was my Mum again" Christine sighed and put the book down she had been reading. Alana squealed from her bed at the sight of him and he went to her.

"Hi there little princess. How´s my big girl doing?" he said and picked her up. "Wow, she´s heavy now Christine" he smiled.

Christine shrugged and offered a halfhearted smile. "Yeah, she´s growing fast".

Seconds later Marie came into the room. "Here, let me take her downstairs so you two can talk. Would you like anything? Tea, coffee?" she asked.

Christine shook her head and Raoul smiled. "No, thank you Marie. We´ll be fine".

"Ok, then. I´ll leave you to it" she winked knowingly at Christine before leaving the room, but Christine just rolled her eyes.

"It´s really nice of you to come by" Christine said and sat up against the pillows in her bed instead of just sprawling on then like she had been minutes before.

"I just wanted to drop these off, a little something for mother and daughter" Raoul said and produced two beautifully wrapped presents.

"Oh Raoul, you shouldn´t have" Christine whined.

"I know, but I wanted to" he said. "So how are you doing?"

"Fine. Christmas is coming up, Alana is doing great and Mum and Dad are so happy we´re here. I can´t complain" she smiled.

Raoul grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "How are you _really _doing Christine?" he asked firmly.

She looked down at their hands and a few seconds later he noticed her shoulders trembling as she cried. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Shhh, Christine I know. Just let it out" he soothed.

"Why Raoul? Why can´t my life just be easy? Why isn´t he marrying me?" she cried.

"Because he´s a fool Christine. Are you sure this guy is not under some spell?" he asked trying to cheer her up.

"I wouldn´t be surprised if he was, he is after all marrying a bloody witch!" she hiccuped.

She raised her tearstained face to him and they shared a little laugh. He planted a gentle kiss on her lips "I love you Christine, like any brother would love a sister and I hate to see you hurt. Just let me know if you want me to kick his ass" he offered.

She smiled. "Thanks, but I don´t think that´ll be neccesary. He´ll get his punishment by living with Giselle."

"So what will you do now that you´re back here?" Raoul asked.

"You mean apart from lying here feeling sorry for myself? I don´t know" she shrugged.

"Well, I thought so. That´s why I brought you these" he said and got some heavy brochures out of his bag.

"College brochures? Get lost Raoul!" she said trying to hide her interest.

"Why not Christine? It´s never too late.." he tried.

"I have a child Raoul..." she said stating the obvious.

"Whom I´m sure your mother would only be happy to look after while you´re at class" he said. "Come on Christine. I know you lost you scholarship when you got pregnant, but the fees at the Music Academy aren´t too bad" he knew this was really tempting her.

"I haven´t sung or played since Alana was born..." she mumbled.

"But you have since before you could walk. A couple of years won´t make you forget everything. I´m not trying to push you Chris, I´m just saying the possibility is there" he smiled.

"Maybe I´ll look at it later" she said and he knew by the look in her eyes that she would. She suddenly hugged him and took him completely by surprise. "Thank you Raoul, thank you for not holding any of my foolish actions against me and thank you for being my friend" she said honestly.

"Always Christine. I meant what I said, I do love you, but I think I´m _in love_ with someone else" he said carefully.

"Yeah, Meg told me about Elise. I´ll have to meet her to see if I approve" she grinned.

"Ehhh, I´m not talking about Elise, she´s only friends with me to get a change with Gerard, my room mate" he smiled.

"Really? Then who?" Christine was curious now.

Raoul looked at her seriously. "Do you think there is any chance that Meg would ever go out with me?" he asked.

Christine stared at him. "Meg? Our Meg? Meg Giry?"

"How many Meg´s do we know?" he said annoyed.

"Sorry Raoul, I just can´t picture you and Meg together, you´re always picking on each other" she laughed.

"I know! That´s the problem! I can never think of anything clever to say, I alway just tease he" he looked really miserable and Christine felt bad.

"I think you should ask her, you might be surprised" she said and kissed his cheek. "She´d be lucky to have you."

"Thanks Chris, I´ll try" he said.

"Christine, there´s a letter for you" Marie said and handed her the white envelope.

Christine stopped feeding Alana and accepted the letter. She looked at her mother. "Will you finish feeding her? I´ll open this in my room."

"Sure darling, go on" Marie said and sat down next to her granddaughter.

Christine carefully pulled out the letter.

_Hello my darling girl.  
Thank you so much for the lovely Christmas card, both you and little Alana looked absolutely wonderful in the pictures.  
Christmas here was quiet as you know it with all the students being with their families, but I went to a good restaurant with an old friend so I wasn´t too lonely.  
My dear, I have enclosed another envelope with my letter. I debated for a long time wheter I should send it to you or not, which is why I in the end put it in a seperate envelope. It contains a Christmas card and presents from Erik that he sent here. Maybe he was too afraid to send it to your home, I don´t know. It also includes a press cutting about a certain event. I know it will upset you my dear, but try to stay positive. You are such a clever and lovely person, you will make it through!  
Please give my love to your parents and keep in touch, I love you my dear._

_Your friend  
Camille_

Christine felt tears burn in her eyes, she really missed Camille. She knew what was in that envelope and Camille was so considerate to let her make her own decision on reading it or not.  
Slowly she opened the envelope and took out the card.

_My darling love Christine and my beloved daughter.  
I will not go into another line of apologies and excuses, you know how many tears I cry because of this situation.  
I wish you both a Merry Christsmas and I wish with all my heart that I could be there to hold and kiss you both.  
Alana, be good to your mother she deserves nothing else. Remember your father loves you dearly.  
Christine my one and only love, you are in my thoughts and heart every day. I will never forgive myself for hurting you and I will always be with you wheter you want it or not. You are the brave mother of my child and the only woman I will ever love. _

_All my love  
Erik_

_P.S. I am sending along small presents for you both, it´s up to you if you will accept them. _

Christine looked into the envelope, and right there were two little parcels. One saying _Alana _and one saying _Christine. _She carefully opened Alana´s first.  
A little silver locket. Inside was two pictures, one of herself and one of Erik.  
Her fingers trembled as she opened her own. It was a silver necklace. The little pendant that hung on it was a C, an A and an E melted together.

With tears streaming down her cheek she looked into the envelope again to pick out the last thing. She unfolded the paper a read.

_Every V.I.P of Paris were gathered this weekend to celebrate the wedding of the year between highly praised opera composer Erik Destler and Giselle Bertrand, daughter of well respected business man and great opera supporter MauriceBertrand.__  
__After many years of engagement the couple finally tied the knot and family and friends joined in their happiness.__  
__Mr. Destler was as always in a humble mood, but isn´t that why we love this genious man?__  
__The party went on until the early morning hours where the happy couple left the celebrations to begin their honeymoon in a romantic secret place._

Christine crumbled the paper and collapsed on her bed in a heap of tears. Several minutes later she was all cried out and lay hiccuping on the bed. She sat up and fastened the necklace around her neck and hid it beneath the collar of her shirt.  
She picked up the crumbled piece of paper and put it in a drawer. "You have made you choice Erik, now I will start to make my choices" she whispered to the empty room before moving downstairs to pick Alana up for her bath.


	14. Give the girl a little break

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

Author´s note: I´m really sorry for doing that to you, but I hope this chapter will calm you all a little. Everything is not working out yet, but I think Christine needed a little break.  
A realize there might have been some confusion about who sent the paper cutting to Christine, please see my note to Abby Kovac for an explanation:)

**PS: please forgive me for any mistakes, I didn´t have time to read it through, I´ll repost if it´s too bad:)**

**Twinkle22: **Sorry for doing that to you:) here´s a fast update with a little fluff that I hope you´ll enjoy:)  
BTW thanks for reviewing the last chapter of "The Reason":)

**Abby Kovac: **I´m so sorry for not making it clear that it was Camille who sent the cutting to Christine. That´s why she debated wheter to send it or not. She just enclosed it in the same envelope as Erik´s letter. Hope you anger for him has softened a little:)  
I agree with you on the Buquet issue. If you´re of that opinion I think you´d like my latest story "The Reason":)  
I have read M A S K and I´m eagerly awaiting your next update (HINT) I know what you´re talking about regarding writers block. Luckily I´ve been able to get through it so far.  
If you need help in any way I´d be happy to offer some support in any way, just let me know:)

**You´llbemyangel: **yeah, she has to take care of herself now, but I plan on making things work out:) I will look for that song:)

**Wandering-Phantom: **sorry, but he is...

**PhantomLover05: **Please, don´t be dead yet! Here´s the update.

**Tink20: **I know, but here´s a little break for her:)

**ItsAdangerousGame: **As you wish:)

**GoldenLyre: **sorry, please don´t hurt me! I´m trying:)

**Phantomann: **I promise I´ll fix it:)  
BTW thanx for your review on "The Reason":)

**Chaos Theory: **thanx, hope this is quick enough:)

**Gorrogirl: **Thanks:) I looked over the old review, Destler comes from a version with Robert Englund, haven´t seen it though...

**Lady Skywalker: **Sorry, things took a little turn, please don´t kill me – well, if you do you won´t know how it turns out (wicked grin) Anyway don´t want to be responsible for you loosing your mind so here you go:)

Christine finished reading the story, but Alana just stared back at her from her bed without the slightest hint of being sleepy.

"Come on darling, we agreed you should go to sleep when the story ended" Christine said.

"Why?" the little girl looked at her with her big brown innocent eyes and Christine couldn´t help but smile.

"Because it´s late sweety and Mummy have to get up early" she explained.

"Why?" Alana asked again.

"Mummy have to go to school. You know that and you have to spend a nice day with Grandma like you always do" Christine said and stroked the little girl´s cheek. Alana seemed to contemplate her mother´s words and then drew in a satisfied breath.

"Give me a goodnight kiss" Christine said and Alana turned her lips up so her mother could plant a kiss on them.  
Happily she then stuffed her thumb into her mouth and Christine got up to leave. When she was nearly at the door Alana began to fuss.

"Mummy, say night" she whimpered.

"But sweety we just said goodnight, you have to sleep now" she said.

"NO! Say night!" Alana wailed and Christine realized what she meant. She walked over to the night stand and grapped the picture frame.

"Sorry love, Mummy forgot. Here, say goodnight to Daddy" Alana kissed the picture and then settled happily under the covers. Christine put the frame back on the table and sighed.

'She needs you Erik, and so do I. Why does it have to be like this?' she thought.

5 months. That was how long she had been back home. In all these months she had only talked to him a couple of times.  
Back in Paris when he had told her he was getting married she had screamed at him to stay away from her. When she had calmed down they had managed to have a desent conversation and she had explained to him that with the new developement in their relationship she was going to need some space. He had accepted that and they hadn´t spoken until after Christmas when Christine had called and thanked him for the presents he had sent them. That and most of the conversations they had had since ended with either one or both of them being in tears.  
It was still an open wound in Chistine´s heart and it sometimes scared her that she could feel such love for another person. Well, in fact she felt such love for two people, but in different ways.  
Her love for Erik made her knees weaken and her stomach flutter. The desperation of not being able to be close to him nearly killed her.   
Her love for Alana was just as strong, but different. She was a part of her and Erik, a little miracle they had created with their love. She loved the girl unconditionally. That was also why she made a point out of Alana knowing her father. She would never allow Erik to be a stranger to his child!

Knowing that Alana was already lost in her dreams she left the room to go down and join her parents for a cup of tea.  
She would also have to prepare for her classes tomorrow. She couldn´t believe she had been so easily accepted into the Music Academy, but it had really helped to lighten her mood.  
As she made it down the stairs the phone rang.

"I´ll get it!" she called to her parents, careful not to wake Alana.

"Hello" she answered.

"Oh thank God it´s you! I feared it might be your Dad!" a voice said.

"Erik! Are you out of your mind calling here? Dad _would_ have killed you!" she exclaimed with obvious joy in her voice.

"Sorry, but I have some news for you, which I hope you´ll like" he said.

"Oh yeah?" she asked excited.

"Well, it´s completely up to you of course, but I´coming to England next month to give a lecture and I would love to see you and our darling daughter, if you´re ok with it" he said hesitantly. "Christine?" he asked when she said nothing.

"Oh Erik I would love that!" she said delighted.

"Really Christine?" he was clearly relieved.

"Yes Erik, it would be great. How long are you staying for?" she asked.

"Just 5 days, but I only have 2 lectures, so we can spend 3 evenings and most of the days together if you like" he was so happy now.

"Sound wonderful, I can´t wait Erik!" she said nearly out of breath with excitement.

"Me neither. I´ve got to go now, 'Cruella' is coming back soon, but I´ll let you know when I arrive" he said.

"Sure, talk to you then. I love you" she whispered.

"I love you too. Give my baby girl a big kiss from me" he said before hanging up.

She had a huge smile on her lips when she put the phone down. It was the first conversation she had had with him in 5 months that didn´t make her want to collapse in tears afterwards.

He arrived on a Wednesday the next month. Well aware that the British tabloids were bad, she didn´t meet him in the airport. Instead she bundled up her daughter and made her way to the Giry house.

"Daddy!" Alana squealed and wiggled impatiently in Christine´s arms until Erik grapped her an enveloped her in a tight hug.

"Hello love, I´ve missed you so much" he whispered to her. Alana just giggled. After a moment he handed her to Anne Giry who took her with her to the livingroom so Erik and Christine could have a minute alone.

Erik took hold of both her hands and kissed them tenderly.

"It´s good to see you" he said with tears in his eyes.

"You too, and now would you please say properly hello to me" she smiled through her own tears.

"I´d be happy to" he grinned and kissed her waiting lips. When they broke apart he lead her to the livingroom so they could have some family time together.

On Saturday night he arranged for them to have dinner in his hotel room. He really wished he could have taken her to a nice restaurant, but they couldn´t risk being seen together.  
Christine had left Alana with her parents. Marie had been happy to watch the little one and she was overjoyed to see her daughter start going out again.

After they finished their meal he joined her on the balcony and offered her another glass of wine.

"You look amazing tonight" he said with admiration and kissed her cheek gently.

"Thank you, and thanks for doing this, I´m having such a great time" she smiled.

He softly kissed her lips and she moaned into his mouth. She put her wine glass down so she could wrap her arms around his neck.

"I love you so much" he whispered as he reluctantly released her lips.

"And I love you" she whispered back.

He began kissing her again, but when he carefully slid his hands under her shirt to caress her naked back she pulled away slightly.

"No Erik, I can´t sleep with you...that´s too painful..." she whispered.

He kissed her forehead. "I know Christine, I don´t expect you to, please forgive me" he withdrew his hands, but she shook her head.

"No don´t, it´s nice, I just wanted to let you know before things got out of hand. I would however like to stay here tonight and spend a night in your arms, if you´l let me" she said and kissed his chin.

He smiled. "I would be honored to hold you through the night and whisper sweet nothings in your ear" he said and kissed her while slowly leading her to the bed.

She awoke the next morning to the feeling of his body presed tightly against her back and his hand softly caressing her arms. She turned around and kissed him.

"Thank you Erik, that was the best night I´ve had in a long time" she whispered.

"Me too", he said happily.

Half an hour later she kissed him goodbye.

"I´ll go and pick up Alana. See you in an hour at Anne´s house" she said.

"Yes, I can´t wait to spend my last day here with my favourite girls" he said and kissed her once more before she left.


	15. A new friend

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: I´m glad you all liked the little time Christine and Erik had together;)****  
****I´ll be away for a few days, so you´ll have to stay entertained with this chapter. I´ll see if I can get any work done on the nexy while I´away:)**

**Abby Kovac: **Do you know when things happen that you don´t want to know about, but in fact you really do?  
I think that´s how Christine felt about the wedding. Camille really had no evil intentions, she just thought Christine would like to know:)  
I´ve looked for your e-mail address, but can´t find it. Let me know what it is so I can post some suggestions for M A S K for you;)

**You´llbemyangel: **Yeah, would be good, but they´ll have to wait and see what happens. Btw. I found that song "Stupid" you mentioned. It´s really scary how well it fits this story. Thanks for mentioning it:)

**Phantomlover22: **glad you do:)

**Tink20: **thanks

**Twinkle22: **thanks, don´t think I could handle it either:) hope you like this update:)

**PhantomLover05:** sorry I killed you!;) glad you liked the chap, hope you´ll enjoy this as well:)

**Wandering-Phantom: **I know, sorry. It will get better:)

**Gottogirl: **thanks, in chap 14 Alana is about 1½ years old. She is older now, but you´ll see:)

"Daddy Daddy!" 2 year old Alana staggered towards the door with Christine close behind.

"No sweety, it´s not Daddy" she sighed.

"Daddy!" Alana squealed excited when Christine opened the frontdoor to reveal Raoul and another guy standing on the doorstep.

"Hi Chris, hi little birthday girl" he said happily.

At the sight of him Alana´s eyes began to water and she started crying uncontrolably.

"No! Daddy!" she wept.

Christine picked her up and the little girl buried her face in her mother´s curls.

"Sorry guys" Christine said as she moved to let them in. "We´re in a little I-want-Daddy period."

Raoul nodded. "Chris, this is Gerard, my room mate. Gerry, this is Christine" he introduced them.

"Hello Christine, thanks for inviting me" Gerard said politely.

"Oh you´re welcome, nice to finally meet you, I know you´re a good friend of Raoul´s. Sorry about the rude welcome" she said.

"It´s fine Chris, don´t worry" Raoul smiled and leaned in to kiss her cheek. That didn´t suit Alana ans she slapped her small hands against his shoulder.

"No kiss! Not Daddy!" she screamed.

"Alana be nice!" Christine scolded and looked sternly into the girl´s eyes.

"NO!" Alana wailed and threw herself backwards trying to get out of Christine´s arms.

"The others are in the livingroom, just go in. I´ll just have a little talk with the young lady in the kitchen" Christine smiled to them.

"No no no! Don´t want to!" Alana screamed as they entered the kitchen.

Ignoring her protest Christine went to the sink and filled a glass with water. She held it up to Alana´s mouth. "Come on baby, drink this" she offered.

"No!" Alana was obviously not interested.

"Now Alana!" Christine was having none of it.

Alana then put her small lips to the glass and Christine tipped it so she could drink. She finished the glass and then began to calm down. She had nearly driven herself to hysteria so she was still hicupping and sniffing when Christine sat down on a chair and placed her in her lap. The little girl leaned her head on her mother´s chest and Christine rocked her gently.

"Sweety what did Mummy tell you about Daddy not coming for your birthday?" she asked softly.

"Not coming" Alana sniffed.

"That´s right, we talked about Daddy not coming, but you had to be a big girl about it. What happened out at the door?" she asked.

"Alana bad" the girl mumbled.

"Yes Alana was being bad and impolite to Raoul and Gerard. They are your guests today so now you have to go and say sorry to them ok?" Christine said.

"Ok" Alana nodded.

They spent a minute in silence so Alana could calm down completely and then they made their way to the livingroom.

Meg and Roul were sitting close together and Gerard was dazzling Marie and Anne with his charm. Christine smiled as Alana crawled up in Raoul´s lap.

"Hi princess, feeling better now?" he said quietly to her.

Alana smiled and nodded and then leaned closer to him. "I´m sorry" she whispered in his ear and Raoul hugged her.

"You´re forgiven Angel" he whispered back to her.

A couple of hours later Christine had gone to the kitchen to get some more hot chocolate when Meg came in.

"Christine can I talk to you for a second" she asked.

"Sure Meg" Christine smiled.

"Well, Raoul has asked me out..."she trailed off.

"Oh Meg that´s great!" Christine said happily.

"Are you sure Chris? I mean I understand if you would be upset, you and Raoul were together for along time. If it´s a problem I´ll just say no and..." she rambled.

"Meg! It´s not a problem, I think it´s wonderful" Christine grinned.

"Oh thank you Chris, I´m so happy" Meg smiled relieved.

"He really likes you Meg, I´m happy for you" Christine said and hugged her.

"Maybe you and Gerard could come too. He´s very sweet, wouldn´t that be fun?" Meg suggested.

"Yes Meg, he is very sweet, but I don´t think I should start dating anyone just yet. Especially not a girl magnet like Gerard" she sighed.

"Come on Chris, you can´t stay single forever" Meg whined.

"I don´t plan to Meg. Maybe I´ll think about it" she said to get her off her back.

Later that night Christine was lying on her bed beside Alana. They pretended that Christine´s hand was a mouse and Alana squealed and giggled when the 'mouse' sneaked up to tickle under her chin.   
Someone knocked on the door and Charles peeked inside.

"Do you need any help little princess?" he smiled at Alana.

"Mummy´s got a tickle mouse" Alana grinned and let out a loud squeal when Christine tickled her again.

Charles laughed and went to the bed. "Well then, maybe Granddad should tickle the tickle mouse" he said and grapped Christine´s sides. Then it was her turn to squeal and she tried to avoid her father´s hands. After a light tumble Charles straightened himself up and laughed.

"You´re still not strong enough to escape me princess" he smiled at Christine.

She stood up and hugged him. "I never want to escape from you Daddy" she whispered.

She noticed him getting a bit teary eyed before he cleared his throat.

"Well, your mother is getting the tea ready, will you come down" he asked her.

"Yes Dad, I´ll be down in a minute" she said.

"Good night my big girl, sweet dreams" he said and kissed Alana´s cheek.

"Night night" the little girl said in a sleepy voice.

When he had left Christine sat down and tucked the covers around her daughter.

"Mummy hold hand" Alana mumbled.

Christine took her hand and gently stroked her thumb over it. It quickly made Alana sleepy and in a few seconds she was off. Christine softly kissed her forehead and carefully released her hand.

"Sleep tight my baby, I love you" she whispered and left the room.

A couple of weeks later Christine was running around in the house trying to find one of her shoes. She was late and was just about to panic when she found it under Alana´s bed.  
Marie came into the room as she was putting her earrings on.

"Oh you look lovely Christine, he´s a lucky man" she sighed with joy.

"Mum I´m just going to keep Gerard company while Meg and Raoul are staring deeply into each other´s eyes. It´s not a date" Christine said annoyed and grapped her bag.

"Oh come on now Christine, he´s a lovely young man. I´m sure you´ll get along well" Marie smiled.

"Yeah yeah" Christine said.

Downstairs she sweeped Alana up in her arms and hugged and kissed her. "Bye darling, be a good girl tonight ok?" she said.

Alana nodded and wiggled to get back on the floor to her toys.

"Bye Mym" Christine yelled as she ran out the door to find a cab.

Christine had to admit that she enjoyed herself. Yes Meg and Raoul were very into each other, but it really didn´t matter.  
Gerard was easy to talk to and he was so nice. He asked with interest about her music and he obviously liked Alana.  
In turn Christine asked him about law school and he and Raoul told jokes about their teachers that left Meg and Christine wrecked with laughter.  
Several hours later Raoul and Meg had driven off in a cab and Gerard looked at Christine.

"Do you want to go straight home or walk around for a while?" he asked carefully.

She smiled up at him. "Well, we can walk for a bit and then catch a cab futher up the street" she suggested.

"So, what is it like taking care of a child and being at school at the same time, if you don´t mind me asking" he said after a while.

"Hard!" Christine grinned. "I´m really lucky to have my parents to help me with Alana. I couldn´t handle everything if I was alone."

Gerard nodded understandingly. "I really admire you, she has turned out great. A sweet and lovely girl" he smiled.

"Apart from the little tantrum she threw at her birthday!" Christine laughed.

Gerard laughed as well. "Oh that´s nothing Christine. My cousin had a baby when she was 16 and I really like kids, don´t get me wrong, but her son is an angerball beyond anything. And Kathy is not doing well either, she takes her frustrations out on the boy and that´s really bad" he said.

Christine nodded. "There´s a lot of frustration involved in the relationship between Alana´s father and I, but I could never take it out on her. She is suffering enough from being without her father most of the year" she sighed.

"Yeah, Raoul told me a bit about it, though not a lot. He says it´s not for him to talk about" Gerard said quietly.

"He´s a good friend Raoul, he knows it´s hard for me and I don´t really feel comfortable with everyone knowing about it" she said sadly.

"You don´t have to tell me if you don´t want to" he said.

"I have a feeling I can trust you and I know Raoul is going to kick your ass if you tell everyone" she smiled. "You see, Alana´s father is married to someone else. They weren´t married when we had her, but only engaged. This woman controls the place where Erik works and appearently also Erik. She has tons of conditions that has made him unable to be a boyfriend to me and a real father to his daughter. I´m learning to live with it, but I don´t think I´ll ever stop hoping" she said with a sigh.

Gerard put an arm around her shoulders. "So far I think you´re handling things well and you shouldn´t move on before you´re ready" he smiled.

As he dropped her off at her house he kissed her cheek gently.

"Thank you Christine, I had a lovely time tonight" he said.

"Thank you Gerry, me too" she smiled before leaving the cab.

She carefully entered her room to find Alana sprawled on her bed snoring quietly. She quickly changed her clothes and slipped into the bed next to her daughter.  
The little girl snuggled closely up to her and Christine kissed her curls softly. "Good night my love" she whispered and blew a kiss at the picture beside the bed before she slept.


	16. Trouble

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

** Author´s note: I want to thank all of you who reviewed the last chapter of this story. As you may be aware of, authors are no longer allowed to respond to their reviewers...!****  
****As always my reaction to such a stupid and unneccesary rule was to neglect it and respond to you anyway (not very mature, but hey – that´s me), but I realized that if this story was removed you would all end up being punished. Instead I will try to respond personally to you over e-mail. If you do not receive a response it is only because I can not find your mail addresses:)**

Christine was lying on her bed trying to study. Alana was sitting on the floor drawing and softly humming to herself.  
Christine took her eyes off the page she was reading and smiled at her daughter.

"What are you drawing my love?" she asked softly.

"A pony. I want one for Christmas" Alana stated.

Christine laughed. "Sweety, I don´t think we have room for a pony".

"Daddy also said no pony" Alana said.

"When did Daddy say no pony?" Christine asked surprised. She hadn´t spoken to Erik for 2 weeks and Alana had definitely not asked for a pony during that conversation. "When did you speak to Daddy about the pony sweetheart?" she asked.

"Last night" Alana shrugged, choosing another crayon.

"And did you pick up the phone when he called?" Christine asked hopefully, knowing very well that the chances of that happening was about zero.

"No, Grandma did. She said you were out, but that he could speak to me" Alana said.

"Did Grandma tell Daddy who Mummy was out with?" Christine asked nervously.

"No" Alana said and Christine let out a relieved breath. "I did. I told Daddy that you were out with Gerry and that I like Gerry because he brings me lollipops, and then I asked him for a pony. Look!" Alana said and showed her the drawing of a pony that most of all looked like a giraf/spider hybrid with a long neck and about 10 legs.

"That´s very nice baby" Christine said half-heartedly. "Now tell Mummy what Daddy said when you told him about Gerry?"

"He just said that I shouldn´t eat lollipops because they are bad for my teeth and then he said no pony" Alana reached for another crayon and started a new drawing.

"Sweetheart, Mummy is just going to go downstairs, can you stay here for a second?" Christine said already halfway out of the door. Alana just nodded.

"Mum why didn´t you tell me Erik called last night?"

Marie looked up from her newspaper at her daughter´s harsh words. "I´m sorry my dear, you were so happy when you came home yesterday, I didn´t want to upset you" Marie said.

"But you could have told me today Mum, and knowing that he called is not going to upset me! The only thing that upsets me is that Alana told him I was out with Gerry and now _Erik_ is probably upset!" Christine could feel tears burning in her eyes at the thought.

"Christine what right does he have to be upset? He is married to someone else! You´re young and should enjoy your life and that means going out with other people" Marie tried.

"I _know_ he´s married Mum, but he´s trying! One day we´ll be together and I don´t want him to think that I´m not waiting for him!" Christine said angrily.

"How long will you wait Christine? It´s been over 2 years already! You´re 20 years old! It´s too soon to say you´ll never fall in love again" Marie said.

"I don´t care! I´ll call Erik" Christine said and turned on her heel.  
She knew calling Erik was risky. Her parents had begun to accept his call to their home, but Giselle wouldn´t be happy if she answered the phone when Christine called. That was why she only called his place on times when Erik had told her Giselle would be out.  
This time however she didn´t care if Giselle picked up, she could always just fake that she was someone who needed to speak to Erik about a business matter.  
Luckily she didn´t need all her excuses when she heard Erik´s voice.

"Hi, it´s me" she said relieved.

"Oh, hello Christine. Nice to catch you at home for a change" he said in a voice that Christine thought sounded slightly bitter.

"What do you mean Erik?" she asked.

"Well, you´re always either in school, out with Meg or appearently out on dates. It´s great that Alana gets along so well with your mother" he said in a harsh tone.

"Are you saying I don´t spend enough time with her?" Christine asked in an equally annoyed tone.

"No, I´m just saying that maybe you should prioritate the time you have. She is after all your daughter, she should be more important than random guys" he spat.

"Erik, please don´t do this. I can understand you were surpised by what Alana said, but it´s not at all what you think" she pleaded.

"Well, I don´t know what to think Christine. You haven´t bothered to tell me. All I know is that you´re spending time with a guy who _my _daughter seems to be very fond of and who is trying to buy her love with candy. And she really shouldn´t eat candy, she´s only 2 years old!" he said.

"Don´t try to tell me how to raise my child! You´re her father and you have seen her what – twice in the past year! I´m surprised she even remembers you! Besides I´m not dating Gerry, he´s just a friend!" she hissed into the phone.

"Whatever you say Christine! And it´s not my choice that I haven´t seen Alana. You _know _what things are like!" he said.

"Oh spare me your pathetic excuses Erik. I´m sick of hearing about you not having a choice! You´re 33 years old, you can make your own choices. I´m beginning to think you have already made your choice and that is to stay with Giselle!" she said with tears in her voice.

"That´s not true Christine! You know I´m only doing this for the people at the opera house!" he said raising his voice.

"Yeah yeah, I´ve been listening to that for years! How about doing something for _us_? Me, the girl you always say is your true love and your daughter! What is most important to you Erik, your job or your family?" she spat.

"Well, if you´re tired of waiting for me then don´t! It appears to me you have stopped anyway!" he yelled.

"Mayby I won´t! Maybe I´ll go and marry Gerard and then you´ll see what it feels like!" she yelled back and slammed the phone down.

She put her face in her hands and sighed.

"Mummy, are you mad at Daddy?" a little voice said.

Christine raised her head and looked at Alana who was sitting on the stairs watching her with tears in her eyes. She quickly walked over and enveloped her in a hug.

"No no baby, Mummy and Daddy just had a discussion, it´s nothing for you to worry about" she said soothingly.

"Is he coming to see us then?" Alana asked.

"No sweety, I don´t think so" Christine said trying hard not to cry.

"Why is Daddy never coming to see us?" Alana asked and looked at Christine.

"You know Daddy is working hard in another country and that is why he can´t come here so often" Christine explained.

"I miss Daddy" Alana said and leaned her head on Christine´s chest.

"I know sweety, so do I" Christine said and kissed the top of her head.

After a minute of silence Alana lifted her head. "Mummy can we go to the playground" she asked.

"Yes baby, we can. Let´s get you into some warm clothes" Christine smiled.

Half an hour later Christine was sitting on a bench watching Alana on the swings. All kinds of thoughts was racing around in her head.

'Why had she said those things to him? Was she in love with Gerry? What would her actions mean to Alana? And did this mean that she had lost Erik?'  
She was so confused that she didn´t notice Alana had left the swings. When she looked up she couldn´t see her anywhere.

"Alana! Where are you?" she yelled.

When she didn´t answer she started to panic. "Alana! Answer me! Where are you?" 'How could I be so stupid? Why didn´t I pay attention to her!' she thought frantically.  
She felt tears running down her cheeks. "Alana, please baby! Where are you?" she yelled again.  
She was just about to break down completely when she felt someone standing behind her.

"Why are you crying Mummy? Are you sad?"

Christine whirled around and scooped the little girl up in her arms. "Where were you Alana? You scared the life out of me!" Christine sobbed into her hair:

"Don´t cry Mummy, I just followed the rabbit" Alana said

"You must never do something like that ever again! Do you hear me Alana? Never!" Christine scolded and looked into her eyes.

"But the rabbit was sweet" Alana whined.

"I know darling, but you must ask Mummy to go with you if you want to go somewhere. Promise me that" Christine sniffed.

Alana nodded and stuck her hand in her pocket. She produced a lollipop and held it up to Christine.  
"Do you want this Mummy? You can eat the candy and then no more tears" she said.

Christine couldn´t help but smile at her. "Where did you get that sweety?" she asked.

"From Gerry" Alana said.

"But I thought you ate that last night" Christine smiled.

"No, Daddy said it was bad, but you´re not a baby so you can have it" she said and held the lollipop up close to Christine´s mouth.

Christine laughed out loud and kissed her soundly on the mouth. "You are the sweetest child in the whole world. I love you so much baby! Put the lollipop back in your pocket, it´s ok for you to eat it later" she said.

Alana smiled widely. "Thank you Mummy, I love you too" the little girl said.

"Come on love, let´s go home and have some tea" Christine said and put Alana back in her buggy.

What a day, she had had an awful fight with Erik and had nearly lost Alana. She had a lot to think about, but for now she would just spend some time with her child.


	17. Making a desicion

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author's note. Thanks for all your kind reviews; I've tried my best to respond to them.  
One of you asked if this was an EC story. It is, with all it's twist and turns it is in fact meant to be EC, you will see:)**

Christmas came again and like the previous year a little parcel arrived from Paris. However this year it only contained a present for Alana and a short 'Merry Christmas' note for them both. Though Christine had only bothered to send Erik a card this year she had an awful hard time hiding her disappointment.  
Apparently she wasn't doing a very good job and when she quickly excused herself for a minute Marie hesitated only a second before following her daughter upstairs.  
She found her curled up on the bed sobbing quietly.

"Shh my darling, it will be alright" she soothed and rubbed Christine's back gently.

"No it won't Mum, it's over. I know it. We can't even have a decent conversation. This is not how I wanted it to be" Christine cried.

"Christine sweetheart, it's only been little over a month. You both need some time to think about the things you said to each other. After that I'm sure you'll start talking again. You will be friends again some day" Marie said softly.

"But I don't want to be just friends with him! I want to be _with_ him and for things to be like before this stupid fight" Christine sniffed.

"Christine, I know you hate hearing this, but things were not any better before the fight. Things have never been good between you. Well, maybe except for the time before Alana came, but I know nothing of that. You must stop running around in the same circle dear, you will just end up hurting yourself more and other people as well" Marie said.

"You mean Gerry?" Christine whispered.

"Gerry among others yes, but I don't think Alana deserves a mother who is constantly miserable, Meg and Raoul tries anything to cheer you up – without luck and your father and I miss seeing you smile dear. You must at least try Christine" Marie sighed.

Christine nodded. "I know Mum. Just give me a minute and I'll come back downstairs."

"Mummy, we've been waiting for ages, are you ready soon" Alana attempted to roll her eyes like her mother often did and Christine had to suppress a giggle.

"Yes baby, I'll be there in a second – and you've only been waiting for 5 minutes" she smiled at her daughter.

Alana made a big show out of the sigh that escaped her and sat down on the floor fingering her red velvet dress. When Christine didn't show any sign of being ready to leave she got up again and wandered over to the bed. Seating herself comfortably on the covers she reached for the picture on the nightstand and began to hum softly while looking at it.

"Mummy, why can I only wear a mask at Halloween when Daddy gets to wear his everyday?" she asked curiously.

"You know Daddy doesn't wear the mask for fun sweetheart, he has to wear it because of the accident he had with his face. You remember I told you that" Christine answered softly.

"Do you think he would take the mask off for me?" Alana asked.

"I don't know dear, you would have to ask him. Remember that dear; you must never take it off on your own. You must ask" Christine said, clearly remembering what had happened when she had made that mistake.

"I can't ask him if he's never here" Alana mumbled quietly enough for Christine not to hear it.

She probably wouldn't have heard anyway as she at the same second finished putting her earrings on. She quickly stood up and went to Alana. She took the picture from her and ruffled her curls affectionally. "Come on darling, we're ready to go."

"Ah, here are my two favorite girls" Gerard got up from the chair where he had waited for the past 15 minutes and went over to kiss Christine's lips gently.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting" she said with a little smile.

"Don't worry about it Chris, I'm sure Raoul is waiting patiently for Meg over at her house as well" he grinned.

Anne Giry had invited her friends for a little post-Christmas lunch and Christine was happy to be spending the afternoon with Raoul, Meg and Gerry.  
She carefully zipped Alana's coat and the trio made their way to the waiting cab.

Christine fully enjoyed the afternoon. Apart from her parents there were quite a few of Anne's friends present. Some of them Christine knew from the countless times she had spent here with Meg while growing up and she felt pride swell in her heart as her own little girl politely charmed those people who had watched her grow up.  
She felt a little tear in the corner of her eyes as she watched the little dark-haired girl talk and smile and was only interrupted in her line of thoughts by Meg who wrapped her arms around her waist from behind and leaned her chin on her shoulder.

"She's such an angel Christine" Meg said softly.

"Yes, sometimes I get scared by how much I love her" Christine nodded with a smiled.

"Any word…?" Meg asked carefully.

"No, nothing" Christine sighed.

Meg tightened her arms around Christine in a gentle hug. "Never mind Chris, you're better off without him. You and Gerry seem to be getting quite close."

Christine grinned. "Yeah, we're getting along well."

"I'm really happy for you Chris" Meg smiled.

Christine put her hands over Meg's and squeezed them. "Thanks Meg, I…What is this?" Christine glared at her best friend's hand and then broke out in a full grin.

"That is what I was going to tell you about" Meg said grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh my God Meg! When did he ask you?" Christine said as quietly as she could and dragged Meg away from the other guests.

"The day before Christmas" Meg whispered.

"Oh Meg, congratulations! Wow, that ring is huge!" Christine squealed delighted and crushed Meg to her.

"So I take it you approve?" a grinning voice said from behind.

Christine whirled around and smiled at Raoul. "Of course I approve! I couldn't be happier for the two of you" she went to hug him as well. " So when is the big day?" she asked when releasing him.

"Well, I still have at least a year left of college and Meg too. We'll probably just enjoy being together and then decide on a date when we're both ready. I just wanted to make sure she belonged to me" Raoul grinned and Meg swatted his arm playfully.

"Well, as long as I get to go you can wait for as long as you like" Christine said happily.

"_Get_ to go? What do you think, you're my maid of honor" Meg grinned.

"Come on, let's join the rest of the party, Alana will think you have abandoned her by now" Raoul said and offered an arm to each of the women.

"Ha, she's probably still busy entertaining" Christine smiled as they went back to the living room.

_Greetings from Hell.  
Sorry for being an ass! Hope you will forgive me some day.  
Currently spending quality time with parents in law- hence the card (which I found in a local shop, sweet right).  
You know where I would rather be._

_Love you forever  
Erik. _

Gerry kissed her naked shoulder and squeezed her hand gently. "Are you ok?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm really sorry I couldn't go through with this…." She said quietly.

Gerry raised himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. "It's no big deal Christine, I'm surprised you allowed it to come this far. No hard feelings, I promise" he smiled.

"Thanks for understanding, I guess I'm just not ready yet" she smiled back at him.

When she had dressed he grabbed her hands and brought them to his lips. "Christine, I don't think we should continue to attempt to develop our friendship to a romantic relationship" he said carefully.

"Gerry I'm sorry I…" she tried.

"No, don't apologize. You love Erik, there's no reason to deny it" he said

"Yes I love him, but I'm trying to move on. Really, I am!" she said persistently.

"But for whose sake Christine. To make your parents happy? Alana? Your friends? That's all very good, but are you happy Christine? Do you really want to let go just yet?" he asked.

She looked at the floor. "No…" she mumbled.

"Then don't Christine. Don't move on before _you're_ ready, no good will come of it" he said softly.

"Gerry, there are too few of your kind in this world. I'm so sorry if I have hurt you during this" she said with a tearful smile.

"Hey, don't worry about that. I never dared to hope I would come even this close to you. I just hope we can stay friends" he said.

"Of course we can" she said and kissed his cheek.

"I'm glad, and I really hope things work out between you two in the end. Now let me take you home" he said and guided her to the door.

"How long will you stay there for?" Marie asked.

"Only for a week Mum, I just want to see Camille, it's been too long" Christine said and changed the TV channel.

"And what about Erik, are you going to see him too?" Marie dared to ask.

"Maybe Mum, I don't know. If I decide to do that I'll give him a call" she said with a little smile.

"Oh my dear little Christine, you have grown so much! And you too little angel!" Camille hugged them both when she met them at the airport.

"It's so good to see you Camille, I'm sorry for taking so long before getting back here" Christine said.

"Ah, none of that now dear, you have kept in touch with all your letters and pictures, that's more than I ever hoped for" the older woman said. "Now, this is Antoine, he is in charge of the housework these days."

Christine shook hands with the tall skinny young man in front of her. "Pleased to meet you Christine, Camille has told me a lot about you" he said politely.

"Likewise Antoine, are you studying here in Paris?" she asked.

"Yes, I study fashion and art, I will give you guided tours to the museums if you like" he offered as they walked to the car.

It might have been a bit ambitious to bring a 2 ½ year old to the Louvre, but Antoine had been excited about showing them around and Christine had always wanted to see the place. Alana could have spent the day with Camille, but Christine wanted her to experience a bit of culture, though she was so young.

They walked among the Greek statues, Alana sulking and falling a bit behind. "Mummy, are there any statues here that aren't broken?" she whined.

It was probably the funniest thing he had ever heard. The little girl's voice fit his own thoughts perfectly. He crouched down behind her and produced a finely wrapped caramel.  
"Will this make things better" he said softly to her.

She turned around and let out a happy squeal. "Daddy!"


	18. Point of no Return

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: Thanks for all your kind reviews:) here´s the next chapter.**

He wrapped his arms around her and scooped her up in a tight hug.

"Hello princess, how are you?" he said tearfully and kissed her cheek.

"I'm very bored daddy, will you take me out to the playground?" Alana asked, looking at him with her big brown pleading eyes.

"I would love to darling, but I can't take you outside right now" he smiled.

"Why not? Because of the witch?" she asked.

"The witch?" he gave her a puzzled look.

"Mummy says that the witch is keeping you locked in a house and that is why you can't live with us" Alana explained.

Erik threw his head back and laughed whole-heartedly. "And have you come here to save Daddy from the witch?" he chuckled after a second.

"No, we came here to look at broken things and ugly drawings" Alana sulked

"Oh sweetheart, we'll have to do something about that" he soothed.

"Do you have any more of these?" she asked and held the now empty caramel wrapping up in front of him.

He grinned and reached into his pocket when two female voices distracted him. One of them he was quite happy to hear, the other…well, not so happy.

"Alana, you must stay close to Mummy, don't wander around on….Erik!"

"Erik what in Heaven's name do you think you're doing!"

"Hello Christine, nice surprise to find you in Paris. Giselle, I am giving my daughter a hug" he answered, looking from one woman to the other

Giselle was the first of them to recover from the shock. "Will you put that ridiculous child down at once! Have you completely lost your mind picking up a stranger's kid?" she shrieked.

"Forgive me dear, you have not been properly introduced. Giselle this is _my_ daughter Alana" he said to her with obvious annoyance.

"Erik I have absolutely no idea of what you're talking about! Put her down now, we're leaving!" she hissed.

"No Giselle! I have not seen her in a long time and we were just having a conversation" he said sternly.

Giselle lost it. "I'm not having this Erik! I said now!" she quickly strode over and began tugging at Alana's arms that were wrapped tightly around Erik's neck. "Let go you stupid brat!" she said angrily.

"No! Stop it! Daddy!" Alana began to cry helplessly and clung even tighter to Erik. Christine who had been watching the argument without being able to speak quickly regained her composure when Giselle put her hands on her daughter. She shoved Giselle out of the way with a rough push.

"Will you stop it! She is just a child!" she shouted at her while lifting Alana into her own arms.

"You! You're the mother of this little bastard? Well, I should have guessed with the way you were always hanging around close to our house. Don't you know how to let go? He is married for God's sake!" Giselle smirked.

"Trapped in a marriage is more like it! Have you never wondered why he has a child with someone else?" Christine snapped at her.

"Well, I can take no responsibilities for what little love sick school girls like you get yourselves into. Just stay away from my husband!" Giselle yelled.

"Ladies, Gentlemen! You must keep quiet or leave at once!" a museum worker broke into the argument.

"We'll gladly be leaving!" Christine said with tears in her eyes and turned around quickly.

"Christine wait!" Erik called after her.

She just kept walking and Giselle grabbed his wrist. "Come on Erik, we're going home!" she said sternly.

"Let go of me you crazy bitch!" he hissed and began walking to the exit in a quick pace.

Everyone had been expecting the doorbell to ring at some point and when it did around 10pm Camille went to answer.

"Hello Erik, we thought it might be you" she said and let him in.

"So I take it she is staying here?" he said.

"Where else would she be? She's in the kitchen" Camille said.

As soon as he entered the kitchen Antoine got up from his chair and left the room quickly, clearly sensing what this was about.

"Erik" Christine said and nodded to him.

"Hi Christine" he smiled weakly. "Look, I'm really sorry about today, but I had no idea you would be at the museum. Hell, I didn't even know you were in Paris" he said sounding slightly hurt.

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but we're only here for a week" Christine apologized.

"A week is a long time Christine, we could easily have found time to see each other" he said.

"Erik, to tell you the truth I was not sure if I wanted to see you. I thought we would just go here to see Camille and then I could give you a call if I felt like it" she sighed and looked at her hands.

"Right, so you weren't sure if you wanted to see me. Was that your decision or did your boyfriend have something to say about it as well?" he asked with rising anger.

"My..what do you mean?" she asked.

"That Gerard guy! He was quite quick to leave the room when I entered" he spat.

"That wasn't Gerry, that was Antoine. He is a residing student here, Camille's housekeeper and as gay as they get! And I'm not seeing Gerry anymore if you must know" he said with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Christine, I didn't mean to start a fight again" he said and kneeled down in front of her and grabbed her hands. He gave her a second to take control over her tears and she looked up to meet his eyes.

"How did Giselle take the little incident?" she asked carefully.

"Well, I've been listening to 'how stupid could I be to have sex with a simple school girl?', 'why I couldn't keep my pants zipped?', 'who I really thought I was treating her like that?' and so on. She threw quite the tantrum and now she has taken the car and raced off to her parents, so I guess this is far from over" he sighed.

She nodded understandingly and squeezed his hands.

"So tell me, what happened with that Gerry lad, you said it was over?" he asked after a minute.

"Yes, we had a little thing going, but I ended it" she said.

"Why did you do that? I thought you told me you were going to marry him" he said, remembering her last sentence from their dreadful last conversation.

"Why do you think I did it Erik?" she snapped, hurt by him bringing up the fight again. She got up from the chair and moved away from him.

"You tell me Christine" he said.

"Because Erik, I couldn't let go of you for God's sake! I've been trying to move on for nearly two years now, but whenever I think I might be able to get on with my life and actually fall in love again you either show up, call me and tell me you love me or send a card that is so sweet that I can't find it in my heart to ever love anyone else!" she was crying silently now, tears running freely down her cheeks. "Don't you see what you do to me? I am really trying, but when I'm nearly there I get bombed right back to where I started, falling in love with you all over again!" she sobbed and lowered her head so her curls fell forward to cover her face.

He walked over to her and carefully wrapped his arms around her placing a soft kiss in her hair.

"I can't take it anymore Erik. I'm not being fair to myself and I'm not being fair to our daughter. We're both miserable and frustrated by not knowing where we stand" she whispered.

"I know Christine…" he whispered back.

After a few minutes she raised her tearstained face to him and placed a hand on his chest right above his heart.  
"I need to know Erik. This can't go on any longer. We´re at the point of no return, Giselle knows everything.You stay withher and we'll make a deal regarding Alana. You will keep your distance from me and let me get on with my life. If not, you must end this marriage and be a father to your child and whatever you wish to be for me. Either way it won't be easy, but you must decide."

He stared at her, not knowing how to react.

She leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth softly. "We're leaving tomorrow. Make your choice and let me know what it will be" with that she left him standing there to make up his mind.


	19. And beyond

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: Thank you for all your reviews, this is rather short, but I still hope you like it;)**

_Music composer employed with the Opera Garnier, Erik Destler, was yesterday involved in a rather interesting argument at the Louvre. While he was holding a young girl, whom he claimed to be his own daughter he was screamed at by wife Giselle Bertrand while an unknown you woman attempted to comfort the crying child.  
Could there be trouble in paradise for the celebrity couple? And who was the dark haired woman who quickly left the museum with the young child?_

He crumbled the paper, threw it angrily away from him and tiredly ran a hand through his hair.

Christine was alone in the house. Her father was at work and her mother had taken Alana with her to see one of her old friends so she was spending her free time getting a bit of housework done.

Over a week. Over a week had gone by and he had heard nothing from Erik. She stopped in the middle of changing the sheets on Alana's bed to wipe away some angry tears. No! She would not cry any more tears for him; he had obviously made his choice!  
She straightened the covers of her daughter's bed and put the stuffed animals back on the pillow. She grabbed the bundle of laundry to take it down to the basement to put it in the washer. When she reached the hall the doorbell rang and she drooped the bundle on the floor with an annoyed huff.

"You could have brought your key Mum" she muttered as she went to open it.  
She flung the door open, expecting her daughter to jump up in her arms, but what she saw made her jaw hit the floor.

"Erik?" she gasped.

He stood there, wearing his long black coat to protect him from the cold and looked as sexy as ever.

"Hi Christine, may I come in" he asked with a little smile.

Too stunned to say anything she just moved aside and gestured for him to enter. He nearly stumbled over her laundry and grinned at her. "Did I interrupt you in something?" he asked.

Finding her voice again she shook her head. "No no , I was just doing a bit of cleaning, I wasn't exactly expecting company. Speaking of company, what are you doing here Erik."

He took hold of both her hands and squeezed them gently. "I have come to talk to you. I wanted to see you in person, because what I want to tell you could not be said over the phone."

"Oh yeah?" she eyed him skeptically.

"Christine my dear, we need to talk about our family situation" he said.

She felt her heart sink. 'He wants to make arrangements for Alana. He's going to stay with Giselle' she thought sadly.

"I told you that over a week ago, have it really taken you so long to reach a decision?" she snapped.

"No Christine, I made my decision the day after we had our little talk, but it has taken me a week to get the media to keep at least some distance to me. We did make a rather public display of our argument that day" he said gently.

"Well, you could just have let Alana go that day. There was no reason to pick her up and announce your presence to her!" she said angrily.

"Christine, don't fight with me again" he said and brought her hands to his lips, which made her feel tears burn in her eyes. "There was no way I could have let her go, just like I can never let you go."

"What do you mean Erik?" she sniffed.

"Christine, I have been the idiot of the century and I fully understand if you will never be able to forgive me. In my eager to please everyone and make sure no harm came to them I managed to hurt the two persons I love most in this world. I devoted myself completely to my work with everything it demanded of me, but while I did that I denied my family of my presence. What kind of man am I Christine?" he choked, tears running down his cheeks.

"You're a good man Erik, you didn't want to hurt them…" she tried

"But what does it matter when I hurt you in the process. And not only you, our daughter as well. For God's sake Christine, I have a child! _You_ have given me a child, something I never dreamed I could have and I just abandoned you! A teenager alone with a child" he put his arms around her and she went willingly into his embrace.

"You tried Erik" she mumbled into his chest.

"But not hard enough. I still allowed her family to control me" he said.

She raised her face to look at him and he cupped her cheeks gently. "It stops now Christine, I can't do it anymore" with that he leaned down and covered her lips with his.  
"I love you" he whispered into her mouth. "With all my heart, and I'm here if you'll have me."


	20. Talking

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note. Dear readers, I'm so awfully sorry for keeping you waiting this long for an update. My past weeks have been beyond busy and I have spent very little time in my home and even less time around my computer.  
I hope some of you are still hanging around. As I work in performance, this time of year is the busiest for me, but I will try to keep the updates coming.  
I love you all and your kind reviews warm my little heart:)**

She responded to his kisses, but after a moment she pulled away.

"Erik, we need to talk" she whispered. The look on his face was once of pure shock and she immediately knew what he was thinking. With a sweet smile ran a hand affectionately down his cheek. "Don't worry my love, I'm happy you're here, but if this – we, have to work there are a lot of things that needs to be discussed" she said reassuringly.

He smiled gratefully and allowed her to take the coat he was still wearing. A little while later they were on the sofa in the living room drinking tea, Christine snuggled into his arms.

"First of all Erik, have you talked to Giselle?" she asked.

"To tell you the truth I have in fact tried to call her at her parents´ house several times this week, but she will not speak to me. I take it she is very upset and what is to come will not be pleasant" he sighed.

"You will have to talk to her Erik, as much as I dislike her I think this needs to be settled as adults" Christine said.

"I know love, I will speak to her, but it means that I shall return to Paris in a few days and try to sort it out" he said carefully.

"You must do what you must do Erik, we can't expect everything to be perfect within a few days. What about the Opera House, what will happen with your job and Giselle's father's support?" she asked next.

"I have no doubts he willwithdraw his financial support. I would love to keep my position, but for one I might not be able to because of Maurice's expected actions and I second of all I don't expect you to jump up and move back to Paris just because I want to work there" he said with slight sadness.

"We'll have to see what happens, one step at a time. There is just one thing I need to know now" she said and looked him straight in the eyes. "Erik, is there even the slightest chance that you will once more succumb to Maurice's demands? Do I risk loosing you once more?" he saw tears glistening in her eyes and he understood her fears.

He grabbed both her hands and brought them to his lips. "No my love, this time I promise you that his or Giselle's demands will not come between us. Never again" he said gently

She smiled gratefully and kissed him softly on the lips. "It won't be all perfect from now on you know" she whispered against his lips.

"What do you mean?" he asked, putting a hand on her waist.

"I have a feeling that my parents will find it a little hard to accept you in the beginning" she said carefully.

He kissed her nose and looked her in the eye. "I did expect that. I will do my best to assure them that I will be taking care of you and Alana from now on. I know it will probably be hard, but I won't give up. You're mine now and I'm not giving up on you."

She smiled at him and was just about to say something when she heard the front door open, soon followed by the sound of her mother and daughter's voices.She untangled herself from Erik´s arms and stood up. "I'll just go and prepare her for your presence" she said and moved quickly to the door.  
Once outside in the hall she was nearly knocked over by Alana who clung to her legs. She bent down and picked her up, planting a big kiss on her cheek.

"Did you behave like a big girl my darling?" she asked with a smile and Alana nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes Mummy, I said thank you when they offered me something and I didn't even spill anything!" she stated proudly.

"Good girl my angel, I'm very proud of you. Now would you please go upstairs for a second, I need to talk to Grandma" she said and put her down and gave her a gentle push towards the stairs.

Alana ran up the stairs and Christine turned to her mother.

"Is something wrong dear?" Marie asked concerned.

"No Mum, everything is fine, it's just…Erik is here…." Christine said in a little voice.

"What is he doing here!" Marie exclaimed with a frown.

"He came here to see me personally and talk about what happened in Paris" Christine explained.

"Did he come to tell you it was over?" Marie asked with fire in her eyes.

"Yes Mum, but not between him and me. He is going to leave Giselle" Christine said and smiled at her mother.

Marie wasn't easily convinced. "How many times has he made you believe that Christine? Don't give in so easily my girl, you have come so far, you must not let him hurt you again" she tried.

"He will not hurt me Mum, he is getting a divorce, it's for real this time" Christine whined, her tears threatening to spill over as she tried to defend Erik.

Marie looked at her daughter with loving eyes. "It's your choice Christine, you´re not a little girl anymore. As your mother I will just ask one favour of you" she said.

"And that is?" Christine asked nervously.

"Take care of yourself and will you please introduce me properly to my granddaughter's father? For over 3 years I've heard a lot about Erik, but I have never met him" Marie said with a little smile.

Christine sighed relieved. "Of course Mum, come with me" she smiled.

Erik stood up from the sofa as the door to the living room opened, but all colour drained from his face when he saw Christine wasn't alone.  
Sensing his mood she moved quickly to stand beside him and grabbed his left hand.

"Erik, I'd like you to meet my mother Marie. Mum this is Erik, Alana's father and the man I love" she said with joy.

Erik stuck his hand out and shook Marie's firmly. "Mrs. Daáe, it's a pleasure to meet you" he said genuially.

Marie returned his smile. "It's nice to finally meet you Erik, I see a lot of Alana in you" she said gently.

Erik smiled with pride.

"Speaking of the little angel, why don't you go and bring her down here?" Marie said to Christine.

Christine glanced nervously from Erik to her mother, but Marie smiled reassuringly at her.

"Don't worry dear, I'll keep Erik company for a second" she said.

That was exactly what Christine had feared, but without saying anything she went to fetch her daughter.

Once she had left the room Marie gestured for Erik to return to his seat on the sofa and sat down in a chair opposite him.  
She knew that he wasn't quite comfortable around her so she decided to try and ease his mind.

"Erik, you can relax, I'm not going to hurt you" she said softly. "We are both on the same level here. You know that Christine's father and I didn't handle her pregnancy very well in the beginning and you haven't handled your job as a father and boyfriend very well. We have both made mistakes, but when I see the looks my daughter gives you I know that she loves you with all her heart and I think we owe it to her to get along."

Erik felt a great weight lift from his heart. "Thank you Mrs. Daáe, I do love Christine and our daughter very much and I'm determined to stay with them from now on" he reassured her.

Marie nodded understandingly. "I am very happy to hear that Erik, and please do call me Marie. Now you must understand that my husband has always treated Christine as the most precious thing he had. He might not be so quick to accept you as I am, but I will talk to him. I am sure he'll want to see Christine happy and if you're what can make her happy he will come around eventually. Just don't expect miracles" she told him.

Erik smiled. "Thank you Marie, I am very happy to have you by my side to help me" he said.

"That's nothing Erik. Just remember, if you ever hurt Christine or Alana again I will kill you" she said and Erik had no doubts that she was serious.

They sat in silence for a minute, but then the door was flung open and Alana raced to her father.

"Daddy you're home!" she squealed and threw her little arms around his neck.

"Hi princess, did you miss me?" he whispered as he hugged her.

She looked at him with her big brown eyes and tilted her head to one side. "Do you have any sweets?" she asked and he laughed out loud.

"Sorry baby, I'm all out of sweets, some little girl ate it all" he grinned.

"That's ok" Alana said and settled on his lap. "I know where we can go and buy some more."

Erik chuckled and smiled at Christine who sat down next to Alana.

Marie excused herself, but before she left the living room she looked at the little family and smiled. 'That is how it is supposed to be' she thought before going out in the hall. She was going to call Charles. Better warn him in advance.

3 days later Christine and Alana had followed Erik to the airport. He was going back to Paris to settle his divorce.  
Alana was lost in front of the airport toy store while Christine and Erik had coffee and watched her.

"She has really grown, I can't believe she will be 3 years old" Erik said affectionately.

"I know, it feels like yesterday you changed her for the first time" Christine smiled.

Erik looked at her with slight sadness. "I wish I could have done that more often" he said sincerely.

Christine reached across the table and took his hand. "Don't think about what could have been Erik, think about all the years we have ahead of us. Who knows, there might be other opportunities for you to change dirty diapers" she grinned.

He squeezed her hand. "I would like that very much Christine" he whispered.

He was just about to lean over and kiss her when his flight was called for boarding. Reluctantly the got up from the table and called for Alana's attention.

When they reached the gate he grabbed her and kissed her with such passion she felt her knees weaken.

"It feels so good to be able to do that in public" he smiled as he released her lips.

She put her finger on his bottom lips and smiled. "Thank you for coming back to us. I love you" she whispered.

"I love you too, I will be back here as soon as I can. I will call you when I get home" he promised.

With one last kiss to mother and daughter he disappeared through the gate and for the first time in years Christine didn't feel uncertain about letting him go.

He had only been home for a few hours, one of them he had spent of the phone with Christine, when there was a knock on the door.

Still feeling overjoyed from his conversation with Christine he didn't bother to check who it was before he opened the door.

"Maurice, I've been expecting you" he said, trying to hide his discomfort.

"Good afternoon Erik, we need to talk" the tall man said in a brisk voice.


	21. Confrontation

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: yes, I am still alive! Hope you will enjoy this little update, as always thanks for your kind reviews;)**

Erik moved aside to let Maurice into the apartment. A moment of awkward silence followed, but then Erik decided to break the ice.

"Maurice I'm really sorry about all this. I never meant to hurt Giselle, honestly. I know she is upset and I've tried…" he was cutoff by Maurice who held up his hands while shaking his head.

"Please Erik, spare me your pathetic excuses, that is not what I came to hear. I am here because my daughter is in my house crying her eyes out because her husband has deceived her beyond anything and you haven't even bothered to come by and check on her!" the anger in Maurice's voice was obvious.

"I never intended to deceive her, and I really don't believe I have. I have called several times, but Giselle won't speak to me. I doubted she would want to see me, so I stayed away" Erik defended himself.

"How can you say you have not deceived her? You have lied to her and betrayed her! I know life has been hard on you Erik, but that does not justify the fact that you have played around with my daughter's heart while having God knows how many other women!" Maurice roared at him.

"That is not true! First of all I have not been fooling around with countless women and second, I was honest with Giselle from the beginning! I told her I had met someone else, but she wouldn't let go. She threatened me to stay with her and she has got you so wrapped around her little finger that she could easily use you to put the necessary pressure on me to make me stay with her! She knew exactly what buttons to push, she knew how important my job was to me and using that as her weapon she has had me dancing to her tune for years! But guess what Maurice! It's over! Take your bloody money and go to Hell, I don't care anymore! There are things that are much more important than a pile of bricks that just happens to be one of the most famous Opera houses in the world. There is a family. My family! Something I have never known! I have a woman who loves me for who I am and a little daughter whom I have neglected for years! _They_ matter to me and nothing else! If all you came to tell me was that you will be taking your support away then go ahead. Take it! Take it and leave me alone!" Erik hadn't noticed the tears of anger that was running down his cheeks, but he suddenly felt drained and slumped down in a chair and sobbed.

Maurice was completely silenced by the outburst. He had never seen Erik like this before. He had always admired the composer's strong personality, but right now he looked so fragile sitting there wiping his tears from his cheeks.  
After a while Erik cleared his throat and stood up.

"Can I offer you a drink?" he carefully asked Maurice.

The man nodded and Erik poured two glasses of whiskey and handed Maurice one. He then gestured for him to sit down in the opposite chair.

"I apologize for my angry outburst, I don't know what came over me" Erik said after having taken a sip of the liquor.

"Apology accepted, and I'm sorry for attacking you like that earlier" Maurice said as some kind of peace offering. "Erik, what you said about you having told Giselle about the woman you were seeing…were you telling the truth?" he asked carefully.

"Yes Maurice, I truly have been honest with your daughter. I do care for Giselle, but I must tell you that I have never been in love with her. I love her; don't get me wrong, but not the way she deserves to be loved. My heart lies with someone else. A few years ago Giselle and I got into a fight over whether I loved her or not. I won't go into details, but she broke off our relationship. I needed a break so I went off to England to stay with a good old friend of mine. During my stay there I met a young woman, Christine. She was only 16 at the time and I knew I was doing wrong, but I fell in love with her the second I saw her. Now, you may question how I knew I was in love with her when I didn't know my feelings for Giselle, but you are a married man Maurice, you know when it just feels right. We ended up starting a secret relationship that carried on for months until I had to return to Paris to my duties at the Opera. I knew I should forget about Christine, but I couldn't. Then suddenly Giselle showed up in my life again, ready to forgive me and I was so confused. I was still corresponding with Christine and I knew I had to choose. I had made up my mind to tell Giselle that we could never have a life together when everything came crashing down on me. Christine showed up here in Paris, 17 years old and pregnant with my child. At the same time Giselle decided to hold on to our engagement. I told Giselle that I was going to be a father and that we should break off the engagement for good when she went ballistic. She told me that she was not the kind of woman that someone left and that she would not let me get away with it. The next thing I knew I was told that you would hold back all financial support to the Opera should I ever consider to leave Giselle. I have played along for years Maurice, but I can't do that anymore. I'm sorry" Erik sighed and looked at his hands.

"Erik, there is something you need to know about Giselle. She is sick. Not in any life-threatening-disease sort of way. It's in her head. We have always been an important family in the higher society in France. Giselle has attended the finest schools and universities and that was where she met Marcel. He was the love of her life. They got engaged when she was only 18. Her mother and I were nottoo pleased to be honest, as we feared he would break her heart, but she was so happy and she was our only child so we would do anything for her. It happened only a few months before their wedding. He ran off with someone else. Giselle was heartbroken and I must say I feared she would commit suicide several times over the years. Luckily she never did and slowly she began to come around, but she never became the same cheerful girl she once was. I did see some of that spark return to her eyes when she started going out with you. You must understand Erik; I thought I had lost my baby forever. Seeing her happy again meant the world to me and when she asked me to help her hold on to you I blindly went ahead and obeyed her" Maurice explained.

Erik remained silent, not knowing what to say.

"Seeing your child in pain is the hardest thing for a father, you must know now" Maurice said and smiled weakly at Erik.

He nodded. "Yes, I am the one who had caused my child pain from the day she was born. She is such and angel and I have neglected her and her mother terribly. I don't even deserve their devotion to me" he sighed.

"Now Erik, don't be too hard on yourself. The way I see it you haven't had much of a choice. You never intended to hurt them. That is in fact something I have always liked about you. You always seemed to put everyone else before yourself. You have tried to keep Giselle happy and at the same time tried to be there for your daughter and her mother. You are indeed a man of many talents and I sincerely apologize for being the one who has made your life so difficult the past few years" Maurice said and put his now empty glass down.

"Thank you Maurice, I appreciate that. And I am very sorry for hurting Giselle in any way" Erik said gratefully.

Maurice nodded thoughtfully and rose from his seat. "I must be getting home now Erik, I appreciate the talk we have had" he said.

Erik followed him to the door, but on the way Maurice spotted something that Erik had never kept out in the open before.

"Is that you daughter?" he asked and looked at the picture.

Erik smiled proudly. "Yes, that's Alana when she turned 2 years old. The woman next to her is Christine, her mother"

"Beautiful. Both of them. Take good care of your family Erik" Maurice said and put the picture down.

"Thank you, I will" Erik said.

Just as Maurice was about to leave Erik cleared his throat. "Uhm…Maurice about the sponsorship for the Opera…."

"I will need to have a long talk with my daughter and consider it. I do love the Opera, but I also love my family. I will see what I can do Erik, but I will make no promises" he said, the sound of his voice now more like the business man he was.

"I understand, give my best to Giselle" Erik said.

"I will. Good night Erik".

"Good night Maurice".


	22. A little phone call

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**A/N: I know this is short, but I thought that would be better than no update for another few weeks:) just a bit of ECness for you:)**

"Wow, I can't believe it went so well between you. I thought he would have killed you for hurting Giselle" Christine was quite surprised when Erik told her about the conversation he had had with Maurice the night before.

"Me too. He did start off with attacking me, but I'm really glad that no blood were spilled. Now I just to wait and see what he decides to do about the Opera and I still want to have a decent conversation with Giselle. I might be on good terms with her father, but I would like our divorce to be settled nicely" Erik sighed.

"Don't you think Maurice will talk to her as well? Explain to her what he talked to you about. And after all, she lied to her parents about your marriage and the conditions she made for it. She never told them about the fact that you had a child and she still forced you to marry her. They'll have to make her understand that you're not the one to blame for everything" Christine tried as she used her free hand to rub Alana's back. The little girl had fallen asleep in her mother's lap while listening to her parents´ phone conversation.

"Maybe he will, but no matter what Giselle is his daughter and as her father I believe Maurice will stand by her in the end. In any case I'm preparing myself for the worst" Erik said tiredly.

"And what would be the worst that could happen?" Christine asked carefully.

"Well, she can´t deny me a divorce. I could end up having to pay her a monthly amount of money for years, but I would just have to accept that. I guess the worst fear I have is that Maurice will withdraw all support to the Opera as it would affect so many people, but to tell you the truth my love, nothing is really the worst because no matter what happens I have you and Alana, right?" he asked hopefully.

Christine smiled into the receiver. "Of course you have us. I just really really hope that he won't come up with anything that would persuade you to stay with Giselle. I know you have told me that won't happen, but I get scared when you're not here Erik. You feel so far away, and I'm so afraid you will be taken away from me again" she whispered and he could hear the tears in her voice.

"Christine I'm telling you again. Do not fear, it will not happen. I will be back in your arms as soon as I can. Please trust me darling, I love you. I will not let anything come between us, do you hear me?" he said seriously.

"I know Erik and I do believe you. I'm sure all my doubts will disappear in time, but they are still there sometimes" she sniffed.

"I don't blame you dear, it's been hard I know, but we will see each other soon and I will make all those doubts go away" he said with a little grin.

"Oh is that so? And how exactly to you plan to make them disappear?" Christine said seductively.

"Well, that is something I would not feel comfortable describing to you when I know our daughter is sleeping right next to you, you will have to wait and see" he whispered to her.

Christine groaned with frustration. "Oh Erik please come back soon."

"I will my love, but now I will leave you to your sleep, it's getting quite late. Sweet dreams. I love you" he said affectionately.

"I love you too Erik, my dreams will definitely be sweet" she whispered before hanging up.


	23. When you least expect it

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**A/N: Thanx to Marie Phantom, Kathy L., tink20, Twinkle22, you´llbemyangel, PhantomLover05 and phantomfan1911 for your sweet reviews, sorry I haven´t had time to reply to you personally, hope you will accept this little update as an apology:)  
****I haven't changed the rating for this story as nothing really graphic happens, however if any of you feel it's too much and I should change it please let me know.**

"Mummy will you bring me back a present?" Alana asked hopefully, bashing her eyelashes at her mother. Christine lifted her daughter up in her arms and kissed her lovingly.

"Yes I will my love, you just have to promise to be a good girl for your grandmother the next few days ok?" she said to the little girl.

"I promise Mummy" Alana said.

Erik groaned and ran a hand through his hair. He stared at the computer screen, trying to figure out what to write next. He was working on the application for the financial support the Cultural department of the government offered to the Opera house. The sponsorship deal was due to be re-negotiated, and since it had been over a week since his conversation with Maurice without a word about his final decision for his support, Erik had decided to apply for a higher support from the government. He was working hard on putting the word just right so they hopefully would not reuse the application.  
With slight frustration he got up from his chair to get something to drink from the kitchen. He had just poured himself a glass of ice tea when his doorbell rang.

"Now what!" Erik sighed. The last thing he needed was to be disturbed and he stomped towards the door to tell the person behind it just that. He flung the door open, but found himself quite surprised. "Christine! What on earth are you doing here?" he exclaimed happily.

"Well you're not the only one who gets to show up unexpectedly on someone's doorstep, but if you mind I can leave again" she smiled sweetly.

"You, young lady, are going nowhere" he said and pulled her to him. She giggled and sighed happily as she felt his lips descent on hers. After several long kisses he rested his forehead against hers and smiled at her. "I love you" he whispered sweetly.

"I love you too. Your daughter says hello and told me to tell you she loves you as well. I would have brought her, but the desire to have you to myself for a few days was too strong" she said, looking at him with innocent eyes.

"Is that so Miss Daáe? Well, I must say that I am deeply honored by your company and you're so very welcome in my home" he said and kissed her nose.

A couple of hours later they returned to his apartment having just gone out to get pizzas for dinner. As they walked up the stairs with their fingers entwined Christine couldn't help but smile at the whole situation.

"What are you smiling at love?" Erik asked her curiously.

"It just amuses me how backwards we have been doing things. Here we are with pizzas, getting ready to snuggle up together on the sofa like a pair of lovesick teenagers, but in fact we are really two adults with a daughter, fighting for our right to be together. The simplicity of the entire moment just struck me as funny when I know how hard it has been for us to reach it" she said with a little smile.

Erik bend his head and kissed her. "You have an absolutely beautiful way of thinking Christine, to just spend this time with you have been worth every moment of fighting" he said with love.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" she asked him some time later as they were lazily sitting on the sofa watching TV.

"Spend a quiet morning with you, then go into town and do as much shopping as you want and then I will take you out for a nice dinner in a public restaurant. When I first met you, you were just a teenager and I couldn't take you out because of the age difference, then later on Giselle stopped us from going to restaurants. Tomorrow night I will take you out and show the world that you are mine and mine alone to love" he said and looked into her eyes that were becoming moist with unshed tears.

"Erik…I love you so much" she whispered in a choked voice

His only response was to capture her lips with his own. She eagerly accepted and he deepened the kiss putting his hands on her back to press her closer to him. Only when their need for oxygen became too urgent did they break the kiss. Christine carefully reached a hand up and removed his mask. Putting it on the table she gently leaned in and planted light kisses on his scarred cheek. Erik closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of her lips against his deformed skin. She continued to kiss down his throat, but when she touched the soft skin beneath his ear with her tongue it became too much for him and he pulled her mouth back to meet his.  
She felt him move his hands up under her shirt to caress her back and she lifted her arms up to allow him to pull it over her head. Throwing it on the floor he lowered his lips to kiss the top of her breasts and couldn't help but smile at the moans that escaped her. He felt her fingers work at the buttons on his shirt and found it being quickly peeled from his body. He gently pushed her down to lie on her back and felt a tingle run down his spine at the feel of her warm skin against his chest.  
He ran a hand up her leg and settled it on the zip of her jeans. Slowly he ended their kiss and looked into her eyes for her consent.

"Erik… make love to me" she whispered.


	24. The offer

**How could I be so stupid?**

by LiltingBanshee

**Author´s note: peeking out from bomb shelter I´m so so so sorry for the enourmes amonut of time it has taken me to update this story. I´m a competitive Irish dancer and have been extremely busy preparing for major competitions. Now I´m out with a sprained ankle (nemesis) so had time for a little update. Hope some of you are still reading this, if you have given up I don´t blame you:)  
Hope you enjoy it.**

It wasn't the feeling of her small fingers, dancing across his chest that woke him up. It was the little snicker that escaped her. A sound he had come to love so much, but hadn't had a chance to hear as much as he wanted. Without opening his eyes he smiled and drew in a breath.

"What are you laughed at my darling?" he asked quietly.

"You" she answered with the amusement evident in her voice.

"And what is it about me that is so funny on this lovely morning?" he asked.

"It's just that I've been trying to wake you up for quite a while, but you seem to be totally lost from this world. Are you having nice dreams?" she giggled

"Well, you must remember that I'm not as young as I used to be my dear, the amount of work I've been doing during the night certainly made an impact on me" he smiled.

She rolled onto her back and laughed out loud. The sound of her clear laughter woke him up completely and he quickly rolled over to pin her beneath him.

"It's not nice to laugh at an old man, you little devil" he grinned.

"Well you certainly didn't seem old last night" she chuckled.

He looked into her eyes and his heart swelled at the happiness he saw in them. For the first time in years the hint of sadness had for a minute disappeared from her beautiful brown eyes. He moved a bit on top of her and the look happiness turned to one of slight surprise and then to love as he began making love to her again. He leaned down and touched his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.

"I love you Christine, with all my heart and I'll do anything to make you happy" he whispered.

"I love you too Erik and you do make me happy. You're not old, you're the most wonderful man I've ever met and _when_ you get old I will still be around loving you and caring for you" she whispered back and kissed his cheek.

His eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I will always do the same for you Christine, we're together now, I promise you that."

An hour later Erik was busy in the kitchen making breakfast for them while Christine was taking a shower. He was just preparing the plates when the phone rang. Quietly cursing the interruption he wiped his hands and went to answer it.

"Hello" he said in a brisk voice.

"Erik, it's Maurice. Am I interrupting something?" another firm voice asked.

"No, that's fine Maurice. I was just about to have breakfast, but I can talk for a second" Erik said.

"Breakfast? But it's past noon. You work too hard Erik" Maurice said.

"Yeah, had a lot of work last night. What can I help you with" Erik asked, wanting the conversation to come to a quick end.

"Well, I thought it was about time we followed upon the conversation we had. There are a few things we need to work out Erik" Maurice said in his ever so cool business voice.

"Yes that's right. We should get together and work something out. When is a suitable time for you?" Erik asked.

" 8 o'clock tonight at our house Erik. It will just be you and me going over some documents. Giselle won't be here this time, but we would of course have to arrange another meeting to sort out the conditions for your divorce" he said.

"Maurice as much as I would like to get this sorted as soon as possible I really can't meet you tonight. I already have plans that I can't change" Erik said.

"Erik, plans can always be changed, I expect you to be here no later than 8" Maurice said with slight annoyance.

"Maurice listen….."

"Erik, you will do wise in not arguing with me. You have too much to loose to do that. See you at 8 tonight" the line went dead.

"Fine, see you tonight" Erik muttered as he put the phone down. He then turned around to find Christine standing behind him, nicely dressed and with her damp curls framing her face. She looked beautiful, but not at all pleased.

"Whom are you seeing tonight?" she asked in a slightly shaking voice.

"Christine…I.." he tried.

"Just tell me Erik. Whom are you seeing?" she asked again.

"That was Maurice calling, he wants to meet tonight. I believe he wants to discuss the future of the opera house" Erik sighed.

"Guess that means we're not going out for dinner tonight then" Christine said and turned around. Erik quickly grabbed her arms.

"Christine, don't leave. I'm sorry love. I tried to tell him I had plans, but that wasn't up for discussion. I'm sorry Christine, I really am" he said quietly.

"Don't worry about it Erik, It's not like I'm not used to it by now" she whispered.

"Christine, you know I hate doing this! You know I don't mean to hurt you, right? You know that Christine! Don't you?" he realized he was holding on to her tightly, but was afraid to let go in case she would just walk away.

She looked away avoiding his eyes, but he could see the tears starting to run down her cheeks. Letting go of her arms he quickly wrapped her in a tight hug and held her close to him as he felt her body shake with sobs.

"Christine darling, please don't cry. I'm so so sorry. God I wish I could stop hurting you over and over again, but believe me when I tell you I don't mean to. I meant what I said last night and this morning. We're together now nothing can come between us. I just have to sort everything out to make sure that nothing can ever bother us again. Please Christine, everything I do is to make sure we can have a great future" he said, praying that he could convince her.

She didn't say anything for a while, she just allowed him to hold her, and not knowing what more to say he kept quiet as well.  
After some long quiet minutes she raised her face to meet his and offered a little smile.

"I know that everything you do is for us Erik, I will have to stop worrying all the time, but the fear is in the back of my head and it will be for a while yet I think. Don't think it's because I don't believe you. I do, and I'm as determined as you are to make this work. I'm sorry for reacting like this; there will be plenty of other nights we can go out. Go and get this sorted Erik. We can spend the day together and I will wait for you here tonight. We can spend the night together and you can take me to the airport tomorrow" she said, wiping her tears away.

"I really am sorry" he whispered.

"I know Erik, don't apologize anymore, let's just eat and go into town. We'll be fine" she smiled.

Erik and Maurice shared a meal in complete silence that night. Apart from the greeting Erik received when arriving at the house, Maurice didn't say a word.  
It wasn't until they had finished the dinner he started talking. He cleared his throat and pushed his chair out from the table.

"Erik, let's go into my study. There is more privacy there for the things we need to discuss" he said.

Erik just nodded and followed him.

Having got settled in the study Maurice poured them both a brandy and then got straight to the point.

"Erik, you know I have always admired your work and you have done amazing things for the Paris opera. In all the years I have supported the Opera house I have never once felt that my money was going to waste. I also know that my financial support has a crucial meaning to the Opera and I have taken that into consideration while trying to work out how to handle this matter. I am a proud businessman and always have been, but I am also a family man and in the end my family matters more to me than any work. I think we're more alike than we really know on that matter. I sense that you would do everything for your family too" Maurice said and looked straight at Erik.

"Yes Maurice, I would do anything to keep my family happy" Erik nodded.

"As I said last time we talked I know you've been trying to do the best both for your family and for your co-workers and I trust you will once again make the right decision for everyone" Maurice said. "Erik, I have a proposition for you to consider. You don't have to give me your answer tonight, but I would appreciate to receive it fairly quickly. Dragging it out would only cause more trouble for everyone. First option is that you continue to do your work at the Opera house as always, but without my financial support. I wouldn't mind putting a word in for you with some of my financially strong friends, but I would do nothing out of the ordinary to help you find funding elsewhere. Second option is that I continue to support the Paris opera for many years in the future, but you would be required to leave you job and move away from Paris. Both options have their benefits, but also downsides. In any case these are my final offers" Maurice said sternly.

Erik kept quiet for a while and then got up from his seat and stretched his hand out to Maurice.

"Thank you for being straight with me Maurice, I shall consider your offer and get back to as soon as possible. I will see myself out" he said and left the room.

It was late before he let himself into the dark apartment. He quietly hung up his coat and slipped into the bedroom. Christine was sleeping soundly on top of the covers, still in her clothes. The bedroom TV was on so she has obviously been waiting for his return, but had given in to sleep in the end. He undressed and carefully, without waking pulled her jeans off to make her more comfortable. Then he slipped into bed behind her and pulled the covers around them both. He gently kissed her cheek and tightened his arms around her.

"Sweet dreams my love, everything will work out fine" he whispered before going to sleep.


End file.
